As 2018 draws to a close I've had an amazing year. I have come so far. I think back on all I have experienced and the strides I have made and I know its nothing but God's Will and His Amazing Grace. I am living my life with purpose, strength and drive. The little moments can and do define you. I didn't know my own strength.
I have found my tribe. The days are long and the nights are short but I have a group of people that "get me". Each and every day we motivate, uplift and depress each other. Nobody can truly see the best in you unless they want the best for you. So if your wallowing in guilt, pity or despair you can't reside there long WE don't have that type of time.
I've been working on living my life focusing on living to solidify my character more than worrying about my reputation. In my forty-one years on earth I have learned through my Faith, Parents and Experiences-they talked about Jesus Christ. You must forgive me I binge watched "This is Us" all three seasons in a week-now I'm anointed by Sterling K. Brown and Chrissy Metz. Justin Hartley is going to divorce his wife and fall in love with me on a Hollywood soundstage while we act in a Tyler Perry movie that I have written. Realistically if Ken Olin would ever give me the opportunity to enter the Pearson's world and write about them I would create magic. I grew up watching "Thirtysomething" with my parents. My stoic Mother would never be able to contain her tears. History will be kind to them even if the Golden Globes wasn't. It's like an hour of remote therapy akin to "St. Elsewhere", "Hill Street Blues" and "A Year in The Life" For various reasons we see ourselves in these characters.
My Father has been on my mind alot lately. The anniversary of his passing is coming up along with his birthday. As I age and navigate through this world again trying to raise a self-sufficient, kind, compassionate young BLACK man in America I miss with everything in me my father who loved us more than he loved himself. I was so hard on my Father in LIFE and even after his death. It took his character being attacked by a statistic for me to look back on our time together. I truly believe the reason why I am able to always stand on my own is because he taught me how to persevere.
I love my children. Equally, separately and unconditionally. The road ahead is unforseen. I had to get my life right in order for me to fully be the Mother Jermaine needs. In order for David to continue to make the right choices I had to reinvent myself once again. I AM SO PROUD of myself! On many levels! I know exactly what I desire out of this life. I try my best to live right. I complain at times but I KNOW that God knows what He is doing. It's so easy for me to regress and feed into the triggers but I think about the life I was living knowing JJ would NEVER thrive in it.
You have to immerse yourself in positivity, growth and normalcy, cement your thoughts in beauty and wonder. You cant even revisit the chaos to see how far you have come. I abhor mediocrity. I am deaf I don't pick up tones well. It's not even about me because I'm from NEW YORK I fit in comfortably ANYWHERE. It's my kids especially Jermaine. His story is his to tell but my Pootie is so special and LOVED by so many. He's gonna be alright GOD and the internet will paint a picture for him. I'm trying to get us to where the grass isn't greener on the other side but where you water it.
I'm also not settling. In familial relationships, friendships, business or lovers. I am a great asset to ANY team. I have my own mind, spirit, drive and purpose. EVERYONE can't say this. I was just thinking too negative ALL the time. And dreaming TOO small. I watch alot of reality television. No matter how much success and fame it's always cattiness. Especially between women of color. THEY all will gang up together just to BEAT US. REMEMBER THAT the next time you go HARD against a FEMALE especially one that looks like YOU. Even in the streets-I stopped talking to so many people because they would rather see me lose than cheer when I WIN. I'M STILL GONNA WIN. I raised another son just FINE. Time will tell again.
I'm loving my life and I'm excited about the holidays I think my children are gonna be happy. I let love back in this year. I just don't have the time to TRY to beat the hoe out of someone. Just because you cute, nice and have some money that's not ENOUGH. My time is accounted for. I invested TOO much already in this life without receiving a dividend. I'm not settling AGAIN. I'm not even MAD. It just feels like sometimes ain't enough hours in a day. I need MY TIME too. It's fine though I had an amazing time discovering who I am and have always been during a year in the life....
I have found my tribe. The days are long and the nights are short but I have a group of people that "get me". Each and every day we motivate, uplift and depress each other. Nobody can truly see the best in you unless they want the best for you. So if your wallowing in guilt, pity or despair you can't reside there long WE don't have that type of time.
I've been working on living my life focusing on living to solidify my character more than worrying about my reputation. In my forty-one years on earth I have learned through my Faith, Parents and Experiences-they talked about Jesus Christ. You must forgive me I binge watched "This is Us" all three seasons in a week-now I'm anointed by Sterling K. Brown and Chrissy Metz. Justin Hartley is going to divorce his wife and fall in love with me on a Hollywood soundstage while we act in a Tyler Perry movie that I have written. Realistically if Ken Olin would ever give me the opportunity to enter the Pearson's world and write about them I would create magic. I grew up watching "Thirtysomething" with my parents. My stoic Mother would never be able to contain her tears. History will be kind to them even if the Golden Globes wasn't. It's like an hour of remote therapy akin to "St. Elsewhere", "Hill Street Blues" and "A Year in The Life" For various reasons we see ourselves in these characters.
My Father has been on my mind alot lately. The anniversary of his passing is coming up along with his birthday. As I age and navigate through this world again trying to raise a self-sufficient, kind, compassionate young BLACK man in America I miss with everything in me my father who loved us more than he loved himself. I was so hard on my Father in LIFE and even after his death. It took his character being attacked by a statistic for me to look back on our time together. I truly believe the reason why I am able to always stand on my own is because he taught me how to persevere.
I love my children. Equally, separately and unconditionally. The road ahead is unforseen. I had to get my life right in order for me to fully be the Mother Jermaine needs. In order for David to continue to make the right choices I had to reinvent myself once again. I AM SO PROUD of myself! On many levels! I know exactly what I desire out of this life. I try my best to live right. I complain at times but I KNOW that God knows what He is doing. It's so easy for me to regress and feed into the triggers but I think about the life I was living knowing JJ would NEVER thrive in it.
You have to immerse yourself in positivity, growth and normalcy, cement your thoughts in beauty and wonder. You cant even revisit the chaos to see how far you have come. I abhor mediocrity. I am deaf I don't pick up tones well. It's not even about me because I'm from NEW YORK I fit in comfortably ANYWHERE. It's my kids especially Jermaine. His story is his to tell but my Pootie is so special and LOVED by so many. He's gonna be alright GOD and the internet will paint a picture for him. I'm trying to get us to where the grass isn't greener on the other side but where you water it.
I'm also not settling. In familial relationships, friendships, business or lovers. I am a great asset to ANY team. I have my own mind, spirit, drive and purpose. EVERYONE can't say this. I was just thinking too negative ALL the time. And dreaming TOO small. I watch alot of reality television. No matter how much success and fame it's always cattiness. Especially between women of color. THEY all will gang up together just to BEAT US. REMEMBER THAT the next time you go HARD against a FEMALE especially one that looks like YOU. Even in the streets-I stopped talking to so many people because they would rather see me lose than cheer when I WIN. I'M STILL GONNA WIN. I raised another son just FINE. Time will tell again.
I'm loving my life and I'm excited about the holidays I think my children are gonna be happy. I let love back in this year. I just don't have the time to TRY to beat the hoe out of someone. Just because you cute, nice and have some money that's not ENOUGH. My time is accounted for. I invested TOO much already in this life without receiving a dividend. I'm not settling AGAIN. I'm not even MAD. It just feels like sometimes ain't enough hours in a day. I need MY TIME too. It's fine though I had an amazing time discovering who I am and have always been during a year in the life....
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