When you change your outlook you change your life. For the last twenty-two years I have been not only surviving but thriving. I am my harshest critic. I am TIRED. I AM FINE. I don't have a care in the world. I am able to live independently and comfortably in the city where dreams are made with my children. I worked like a DOG for years at jobs that weren't the best fit for me to provide a life for my oldest son that many coveted. I get to stay home with my younger son and solidify his future. God is good.
Are some days better than others? Of course! But each day is a new opportunity to be appreciative and live in the moment. My son will be twenty two years old tomorrow! I DID THAT! By no means perfect my child that I GAVE EVERYTHING TO has amazed me by who he has become. We TRY. WE KNOW Jermaine Jr. is watching. From birth I have done it ALONE. I seek no pity or adoration I'm just merely stating a fact. The greatest thing that came from this is knowing with age comes wisdom and I can do it again if need be.
The stakes are so much higher this time around. I'm tired of procrastinating. Unfortunately in the world we live in today and in my own life mediocrity is rewarded, lauded and supported. AGAIN I'm FINE-I will continue to be GREAT. I'm not being uncomfortable around anyone EVER again. I am who I am and I LOVE ME it took me forty-two years of passion, pain and perseverance to get to TODAY. People will try to tear you down just because they aren't built like you. Keep climbing Beloveds the view from the top is awesome,
I digress I have to make a way anyway I can. I haven't been writing enough because I have been running around getting JJ situated for September. Mommy did that! Just like I carried you through one of the most trying times of my life I will carry you my Prince in this life and the next. I AM YOUR Everything as are YOU TO ME. Grandma was the light of everyone's life and although dimmed with her passing it still shines and she lives inside your heart I KNOW it. My baby means everything to me and my kids are my daily affirmations that God is REAL and He loves us because I could NEVER sacrifice mines for anyone!
As the seasons change and the flowers bloom I am tired of being stuck in the past. If my life was based on others I don't know WHERE I would be! God has a plan and it is what it is....He gave me these geniuses to raise because it was my calling. Nothing in my life has been easy. Anything worth having isn't. To whom much is given, much is required.
Recently we lost two of the most inspiring Black men of my lifetime and for all eternity. Just like Orson Welles directed "Citizen Kane" John Singleton directed "Boyz n the Hood" which will live on in emphamy. A coming of age drama set in South Central Los Angeles when it was released we didn't have the mainstream Jordan Peele blockbusters or Sterling K. Brown positively being a role model on Tuesday nights....so many narratives, Angela Bassett honing her Mother of Cinema resume. Cuba Gooding Jr. as Tre showing us that a Father in your life makes ALL the difference...
Then we have the passing of King Ermias. Every city has a hood and Los Angeles is no different. One of the reasons why his passing was so horrific is because he was just like US. People amass fame and fortune and truly forget where they come from. Its one thing to rep your hood yet entirely different to try to change it. I remember when I was running for public office. I was employed full time yet I attended the training, joined all of the organizations that I already wasn't a part of and really researched what it entailed because I wanted to make a difference in the community. I still do. That's why I am still here. I love my community. Nipsey did too. To the HIGHEST POWER.
From the beginning I knew this was really complex or really basic. Hate is a MF. As the days passed and more was learned it hurt even more. On a personal level as a woman of color with two children born a generation apart I hurt so much for Lauren. A love like that comes once in a lifetime but I truly believe that you take it with you. He didn't leave he was taken. As time passes I hope she can channel her pain into hope. I pray that she doesn't let her grief consume her. To quote Aubrey Drake Graham
" I'm really tryin to make it more than what it is. Cause everybody dies, but not everybody lives."
Nipsey's passing was a catalyst in America, the world. It was heartbreaking and surreal. It made us each question EVERYTHING. Am I right with God and my loved ones? How will I be remembered? Am I living my best life? It hurt so bad yet it brought us together because when he was killed a part of us died and was born simultaneously. What will your legacy be? The Marathon Continues...
Are some days better than others? Of course! But each day is a new opportunity to be appreciative and live in the moment. My son will be twenty two years old tomorrow! I DID THAT! By no means perfect my child that I GAVE EVERYTHING TO has amazed me by who he has become. We TRY. WE KNOW Jermaine Jr. is watching. From birth I have done it ALONE. I seek no pity or adoration I'm just merely stating a fact. The greatest thing that came from this is knowing with age comes wisdom and I can do it again if need be.
The stakes are so much higher this time around. I'm tired of procrastinating. Unfortunately in the world we live in today and in my own life mediocrity is rewarded, lauded and supported. AGAIN I'm FINE-I will continue to be GREAT. I'm not being uncomfortable around anyone EVER again. I am who I am and I LOVE ME it took me forty-two years of passion, pain and perseverance to get to TODAY. People will try to tear you down just because they aren't built like you. Keep climbing Beloveds the view from the top is awesome,
I digress I have to make a way anyway I can. I haven't been writing enough because I have been running around getting JJ situated for September. Mommy did that! Just like I carried you through one of the most trying times of my life I will carry you my Prince in this life and the next. I AM YOUR Everything as are YOU TO ME. Grandma was the light of everyone's life and although dimmed with her passing it still shines and she lives inside your heart I KNOW it. My baby means everything to me and my kids are my daily affirmations that God is REAL and He loves us because I could NEVER sacrifice mines for anyone!
As the seasons change and the flowers bloom I am tired of being stuck in the past. If my life was based on others I don't know WHERE I would be! God has a plan and it is what it is....He gave me these geniuses to raise because it was my calling. Nothing in my life has been easy. Anything worth having isn't. To whom much is given, much is required.
Recently we lost two of the most inspiring Black men of my lifetime and for all eternity. Just like Orson Welles directed "Citizen Kane" John Singleton directed "Boyz n the Hood" which will live on in emphamy. A coming of age drama set in South Central Los Angeles when it was released we didn't have the mainstream Jordan Peele blockbusters or Sterling K. Brown positively being a role model on Tuesday nights....so many narratives, Angela Bassett honing her Mother of Cinema resume. Cuba Gooding Jr. as Tre showing us that a Father in your life makes ALL the difference...
Then we have the passing of King Ermias. Every city has a hood and Los Angeles is no different. One of the reasons why his passing was so horrific is because he was just like US. People amass fame and fortune and truly forget where they come from. Its one thing to rep your hood yet entirely different to try to change it. I remember when I was running for public office. I was employed full time yet I attended the training, joined all of the organizations that I already wasn't a part of and really researched what it entailed because I wanted to make a difference in the community. I still do. That's why I am still here. I love my community. Nipsey did too. To the HIGHEST POWER.
From the beginning I knew this was really complex or really basic. Hate is a MF. As the days passed and more was learned it hurt even more. On a personal level as a woman of color with two children born a generation apart I hurt so much for Lauren. A love like that comes once in a lifetime but I truly believe that you take it with you. He didn't leave he was taken. As time passes I hope she can channel her pain into hope. I pray that she doesn't let her grief consume her. To quote Aubrey Drake Graham
" I'm really tryin to make it more than what it is. Cause everybody dies, but not everybody lives."
Nipsey's passing was a catalyst in America, the world. It was heartbreaking and surreal. It made us each question EVERYTHING. Am I right with God and my loved ones? How will I be remembered? Am I living my best life? It hurt so bad yet it brought us together because when he was killed a part of us died and was born simultaneously. What will your legacy be? The Marathon Continues...
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