YOU are Enough

  Mommy and her friends at Russo’s on the Bay at a Post office reunion. Uncle Goode sent me this and boy oh boy was I startled this morning.  I see her life as a testament that you reap what you sow. It takes under ten seconds to tell anyone what you do for a living. My Mother worked in the Post office her entire career. After a brief stint as a teenager with Auntie Helen at ironically the phone company.  Choosing a federal job over the BANK! She was hired on the SPOT as a woman of color because she was a mathematical genius. Courtney inherited that trait for her. She was seventeen years old. Tour 1 like a FOOL (11pm-7am)she would say. After she began working in the Vault 7am-3pm after almost thirty years of the night shift. She was in the vault in the Post Office at JFK in NYC on September 11, 2001.  She was concerned about me getting home newly hearing impaired at MetroTech downtown Brooklyn. I love EVERYTHING about you Ma but the BEST thing was you were so GENUINE...

 I truly want to Thank GOD for ALL He does for ME! I give him ALL The Glory! He has TRULY changed my life for the BETTER!  It didn’t happen OVERNIGHT! Each day is a gift and a LESSON. Change is NECESSARY! Some people have been the SAME way their entire lives….it’s SAD! It’s not authenticity-it’s remaining stagnant.  My Mother raised me to be independent and humble. She showed me an example of who a hardworking and caring human being was.  I don’t care who don’t LIKE me. I LIKE me! I don’t care who doing what! I don’t compare my journey or the one my children are on with ANYONE. I keep the ones who love and get me CLOSE.  Quarantine and Covid taught me that we will RUN out of TIME. My last memory of my Aunt Zabrina is her sitting at the table holding J.J. rocking him. I said to her “this your baby!” She said to me “y’all all my babies.”  I didn’t spend the last time-I MEAN the LAST time with my Uncle James talking about ANYTHING that didn’t matter. We talked...

 As I write but more importantly LIVE I THANK y’all for letting me sit in the front of the bus and listen to music with y’all when I stilll could hear. Papa used to turn the music up real loud for me too on the way to his customers to make his deliveries.  For keeping me in Ms, Goldstein’s class knowing I may have needed a different environment. For coming to my first day of Junior High school (albeit afterschool WHO does that?) For pressing my hair SO GOOD the first day of Martin. For telling me that Brooklyn Tech was a memory (I got waitlisted and didn’t want to go to Summer School to get in because I didn’t want to go there and NANA and GRANNY knew it! ) To not beat myself up over it. (Mommy is STILL MAD in Heaven❤️) To standing outside Martin with Aunt Colette and Mommy because the girls didn’t like me but the boys did!  The most important lesson I learned was to put ME FIRST! NANA you loved us ALL independently and individually. You made sure we had toiletries, pens ...

 True Story I just wanna move to the West Coast! Bakersfield, Anaheim, Fresno I don’t care  at this point.My entire life I put everyone FIRST. You can’t even put your KIDS first because it might literally kill you.  This time of year is so poignant because my Mother’s Birthday and transition are less than a month apart. Nothing in this world can prepare you for losing a parent. I subconsciously and overtly feel like I didn’t truly grieve at first because I was pregnant with J.J. I’m extremely hard on myself. I’m working on it and seeing others just truly not give AF about ANYTHING helps. It does. I’m tired of giving exit interviews. The most disrespectful thing you can do to a deaf person is text them something. I saw what you said. In some instances I kept it too for legal purposes.  I digress-this year has been eye opening on many levels. I’ve watched people that should be the first to help especially the circumstances offer NOTHING. I’ve seen people that are stret...

I just want a FRESH start somewhere ELSE….. we will be OK! I remember when I first lost the majority of my hearing almost 25 years ago. I had just gotten a promotion at the Phone Company of all places! I was a young, single Black Mom of a child whose Father was Cacausian and incarcerated. This was 2001 NOT 2024! I always defy the odds. That’s how I learned to tackle JJ’s Autism by leaning on my Faith. I know I can survive ANYTHING.  Three of my Grandparents and my Parents were still alive. They helped me through EVERYTHING (Acceptance, monetary support, positivity) Gotti( Ronald Washington) became one of my best friends that Summer. He used to pick on me because he was an asshole and didn’t KNOW I was Deaf-not just a Big Butt Bitch from Mott who moved to Central. So when he found out I was deaf he promised that he would always be there to watch out for me. I miss my FRIEND every day. I carry him in my heart.  I KNOW my LIFE looks AMAZING on social media. It’s really DOPE in RE...

 I haven’t been bothering ANYONE I stay to myself and take care of my child and my business! I saw two GORGEOUS apartments in NY that wasn’t the right fit for JJ and I. With Aunt Colette and Ms. May because no matter WHAT they have going ON they GOT me! So in ONE WEEK I have set in place the steps to for THE FIRST TIME in my LIFE do exactly WTF I WANNA do! It’s so LIBERATING!  I’m not letting NOBODY stress me OUT! Y’all can HAVE that! I’m JJ’s EVERYTHING! I’m such a GOOD MOTHER! BOTH TIMES! I ask GOD EVERY day to give me the strength to keep moving! Y’all don’t KNOW what I go through!  I don’t care WHO TALK about ME!  I don’t CARE! I always did! I always respect people that don’t respect me! I love who I LOVE! SO! I LISTEN and act RIGHT too! I co-sign on EVERYTHING y’all do! I give the fresh perspective, advice when solicited because WHO AM I TO JUDGE!  I’m so HAPPY and PROUD of myself! My Sister and I are a TAG TEAM! My FAMILY is AMAZING and Nana and Pop Pop di...