True Story

 True Story

I just wanna move to the West Coast! Bakersfield, Anaheim, Fresno I don’t care  at this point.My entire life I put everyone FIRST. You can’t even put your KIDS first because it might literally kill you. 

This time of year is so poignant because my Mother’s Birthday and transition are less than a month apart. Nothing in this world can prepare you for losing a parent. I subconsciously and overtly feel like I didn’t truly grieve at first because I was pregnant with J.J.

I’m extremely hard on myself. I’m working on it and seeing others just truly not give AF about ANYTHING helps. It does. I’m tired of giving exit interviews. The most disrespectful thing you can do to a deaf person is text them something. I saw what you said. In some instances I kept it too for legal purposes. 

I digress-this year has been eye opening on many levels. I’ve watched people that should be the first to help especially the circumstances offer NOTHING. I’ve seen people that are stretched so thin give their LAST. 

My Mother used to ALWAYS say “Colette and Jetaun gonna be there for my kids no matter WHAT!” I appreciate my Family because GOD knows I don’t have that many friends. Acquaintances yes but not FRIENDS. I’ve been let down so many times by women that CHASE what they will never CATCH. That settle for the first person that look their way. 

I’m not shunning nobody y’all KNOW I love a MF more than they love THEMSELVES sometimes. But I’m a literally get out the BED with said man and open the door for a FRIEND. I don’t care how many BABIES my Nana had her REAL friends celebrated every one of them! That’s why she only had a few because I’d rather have four quarters then a hundred Pennie’s….

The irony of it is I have SOLID male friends that no matter WHO they are WITH always make it KNOWN-“Kim’s my FRIEND idc WHAT you say!”

Cardi on live the flyest most genuine and humble person pregnant yet I hope not questioning her journey. She has accomplished more in a decade than most would accomplish in the industry if given three lifetimes and a penis. 

The reason why I know I can make in Los Angeles is because I’m KIM. Someone was saying to me that I was just like everyone else as a child. No the f*ck I wasn’t. I’m not cocky I know I’m brilliant! My Mother told me when I was a little girl that if ADULTS try to make you feel less say “without being a braggart I’m brilliant.” When she died TJ told me “drop the braggart part you’re brilliant period.”

 I used to be in the hallway reading my neighbor’s encyclopedias while everyone else was jumping double Dutch and riding bikes. Or with the children I grew up with who weren’t really my friends. They were my neighbors and classmates. My FRIEND Duane also reminded me years ago that we were also going to my Grandparents house on Baisley Blvd EVERY Friday night. I saw different views. 

I rebelled in High School and thought I let everyone DOWN but we had a nice, long lunch when Granny came to Rockaway to visit. Nana basically said that I was too uptight and I was actually just rebelling and that’s why she always supported my friends and the truancy and gave us a safe space. I now was a Mother with a great career with a disability that didn’t define or hinder me. Just like her babies on the bus. She knew they grew up to be GREAT. 

Jermaine is one of her babies on the bus. I’m ready to spread my wings because my Ancestors taught me that I could fly….