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Seasons Change

Yesterday was the final day that Jermaine and his classmate/friend had school with their Michy. We went out to celebrate last night with the kids, the other Mom and Michy's family.  I had been an emotional wreck all week. She's just not his teacher she's his Auntie and my friend. She lives down the block from me and I see her almost every day. To say she loves Jermaine is an understatement. I know that the field she is in is truly her calling. She's not only a kindergarten teacher but clinically trained to work with children on the spectrum.

It's so ironic because she was recommended to me by someone that is no longer on our team. ABA Therapy is imperative during Early Intervention. Our first meeting didn't go great either. Exhausted from the barrage of testing that JJ had to endure. Spent because I am only human. I'm a lot of things but a machine I am not. Michelle doesn't pity or feel sorry for anyone. She is a Mother as well and I like to think I taught her alot about parenting and life as a whole.

We had such a great time last night! When we came home I gave her some time to say goodbye to JJ. They love each other so and I am glad that he was able to experience and create a bond with her family. My baby has made so many strides in the last year and a half. It's because of Michy. The last three weeks he has done the unthinkable. He's so on pace for Pre-K. I don't trust many with my son. Ignorant people who will face and fail many more challenges in this thing called life say and do the worst shit. One false move, or look away and Lord knows what will happen. YES Jermaine does things "that ALL toddlers do" yet he's not like EVERY other toddler. A technological prodigy he has idiosyncrasies and peculiarities that are uniquely his own. People are cruel and brackish so I keep my distance. It's above me NOW.

 I didn't know my own strength. I used to worry about ALL the wrong THINGS. Ms. Nancy tried to tell me this a few years ago. I have to catch up with her as well now that JJ will be in school. She treated me like a human being when I felt so lost. She respects me because she KNOWS I could of went SO HARD yet I NEVER did. She tried to MAKE me. She told me "stop expecting anything and you will NEVER BE DISAPPOINTED" Hold your head up high (like Mommy used to say). My life was playing out like a bad Tyler Perry Movie. If you block out the noise and focus-everything will fall into place.

This Summer I have got my whole LIFE. Time can not be replaced. Maybe one day I will write about how I went from living with a contrite heart to being liberated from a lifelong desire to support and assist others. It has coincided with the realization that my parents were the only ones who had to help me. I am blessed to have an extended family who go above and beyond what is required. Michelle in between being a Superwoman held me down this year. But I AM MY OWN TEAM. I'm fine with that. I think about how the sets I play aren't for everyone. Like the ladies in the Amish market talk to me. This great placement Jermaine has would NEVER go down like this if I wasn't exactly where I'm suppose to be. I AM a great MOTHER. It is what it is.

Let me be clear(in my Barack Obama voice) people are just that people. Some people come into your life for a Season yet leave imprints on your soul and your heart like Ms. Rosemary. Some people come into your life to show you who NOT to be. I am so glad that The Creator gave me this life. Writing a book makes you go DEEP.

I am Jay-Z's number one fan. Since the beginning when he realized that he was destined for greatness and wanted to manifest this. His Mother turned her pain into power. He speaks with a confidence in which every sentence tells a story. He is intelligent-some even have classified him as brilliant. Growing up in a urban oasis where the greatest minds have existed. Anyone from NY is proud to say that no matter where you go. It comes at a COST. The scars. Shawn Corey Carter has surpassed the greatest orators who range from the elite to the homegrown. Rappers are poets. That's who he will always originally be.

I haven't even mentioned Beyonce yet! Her name alone automatically pops up it's spelling. You know the NAME Ms. Tina gave her!. Two powerhouses with heirs. I know ALL money isn't good money and you have to remember the basics for survival in the hood. Don't fuck with the OPPS. SuSu shit up if you have to. Create a LEAGUE. Book Lizzo and have her and Beyonce KILL SHIT with Meaghn Trainor if you want and make it a Netflix special. My dream career would be to spearhead the Carter Foundation. Instead of politics I would like to give back through philanthropy.  Just don't EVER stop being true. I am not in competition with anyone-I run my own race. To err is human just hopefully his wife was on board with this. Cap did we seldom do-what God tells us. I respect that.

I am about to be everywhere soon. We out. I'm scared. But I HAVE TO GET TO LA!!!! I have to! THE DREAMS. ELLEN!She can come here to New York and host a town hall with Mayor Deblasio, Former Vice President Biden, Senator Sanders, Senator Harris, Senator Booker, Senator Warren. Moderated by Senator Gillibrand and Errol Louis. A girl can dream.

I'm so excited about the journey I am on. I love the people that are taking it with me.

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