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Motherhood Challenge

I first saw this picture after your home going services on the Post Office Facebook Page. The comments were so touching and in my grief I cried happy tears because everyone was saying the SAME thing-you kept it so REAL and your advice was spot on. 


To say I miss you is an understatement. I just have learned to embrace each day with gusto, purpose and my LISTS(you always told me make a list and buy a planner or journal) To block out the noise and keep moving right ALONG....


I love you Mommy. I am so sorry for anything I ever did that didn’t make you feel as good as you were to me. If you had of coddled me I would of NEVER been able to live the life that God has planned for me! When I feel lost about JJ some days I find solace in you sending me to the other hospital ALONE in the blackout. Uncle Allen said that broke your heart. Y’all together now the cousin/brother that loved your kids even after we were grown. HE KNOWS what he said to me in his last days....I have THREE Fathers-God, Daddy and Him....


I am so GLAD you raised me like you did. When I messed up in high school (after not listening to you and Daniele and going to Summer school at Brooklyn Tech for 5 weeks to get in) even after you and Ms. Lauer and Mr Shapiro said just go to school for 6 months and I would graduate( FUCK credits) I KNEW I had been gone too long and couldn’t be there anymore. You were so disappointed at the TIME(you FUCKED me up and Nana let YOU) and after that you NEVER said ANYTHING again about it until I got that EEOC money out the blue years later and you said “God ALWAYS makes a way for you KIM you will ALWAYS be alright I live the life of Reilly. YOU can lead your LIFE no one else but YOU!


That’s why I LOVE David so much Ginny! Because I remembered him standing in the emergency room with YOU trying to explain to YOU that Daddy was GONE...I forgot about it Mama-No matter WHAT we had been through you ALWAYS said “Ronald would do ANYTHING for my kids” His FAMILY loves my KIDS” David loves my KIDS! He always loved David but he chose to love JJ and he HELPS me! He changed EVERYTHING so FAST! He don’t throw shit up in my face either! He just is a MAN and he does what real MEN do! I can really sleep for the first time since you died! Them NAPS you took when Daddy walked in the DOOR! 


I am living my best life! It’s a tumultuous time in this world, our country, our state, our city Mama but I’m doing the DAMN thing! I always root for everyone that shit is played out! I’m channeling y’all and that LB/Rachel Arms/we never went long without a car energy and loving who treat me right and leaving the rest for THE STREETS! I can’t make anyone fuck with me but TRUST I’m a make you wish you COULD! 


I’m climbing to the top and shooting for the stars because it will get me closer to y’all! Tell my Daddy and my Nana I’m a make a greenhouse or screenhouse lol just for them. I love y’all keep guiding me from above. 

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