YOU are Enough

 I truly want to Thank GOD for ALL He does for ME! I give him ALL The Glory! He has TRULY changed my life for the BETTER!  It didn’t happen OVERNIGHT! Each day is a gift and a LESSON. Change is NECESSARY! Some people have been the SAME way their entire lives….it’s SAD! It’s not authenticity-it’s remaining stagnant.  My Mother raised me to be independent and humble. She showed me an example of who a hardworking and caring human being was.  I don’t care who don’t LIKE me. I LIKE me! I don’t care who doing what! I don’t compare my journey or the one my children are on with ANYONE. I keep the ones who love and get me CLOSE.  Quarantine and Covid taught me that we will RUN out of TIME. My last memory of my Aunt Zabrina is her sitting at the table holding J.J. rocking him. I said to her “this your baby!” She said to me “y’all all my babies.”  I didn’t spend the last time-I MEAN the LAST time with my Uncle James talking about ANYTHING that didn’t matter. We talked about his youth in The Rocka

 As I write but more importantly LIVE I THANK y’all for letting me sit in the front of the bus and listen to music with y’all when I stilll could hear. Papa used to turn the music up real loud for me too on the way to his customers to make his deliveries.  For keeping me in Ms, Goldstein’s class knowing I may have needed a different environment. For coming to my first day of Junior High school (albeit afterschool WHO does that?) For pressing my hair SO GOOD the first day of Martin. For telling me that Brooklyn Tech was a memory (I got waitlisted and didn’t want to go to Summer School to get in because I didn’t want to go there and NANA and GRANNY knew it! ) To not beat myself up over it. (Mommy is STILL MAD in Heaven❤️) To standing outside Martin with Aunt Colette and Mommy because the girls didn’t like me but the boys did!  The most important lesson I learned was to put ME FIRST! NANA you loved us ALL independently and individually. You made sure we had toiletries, pens to do homework

 True Story I just wanna move to the West Coast! Bakersfield, Anaheim, Fresno I don’t care  at this point.My entire life I put everyone FIRST. You can’t even put your KIDS first because it might literally kill you.  This time of year is so poignant because my Mother’s Birthday and transition are less than a month apart. Nothing in this world can prepare you for losing a parent. I subconsciously and overtly feel like I didn’t truly grieve at first because I was pregnant with J.J. I’m extremely hard on myself. I’m working on it and seeing others just truly not give AF about ANYTHING helps. It does. I’m tired of giving exit interviews. The most disrespectful thing you can do to a deaf person is text them something. I saw what you said. In some instances I kept it too for legal purposes.  I digress-this year has been eye opening on many levels. I’ve watched people that should be the first to help especially the circumstances offer NOTHING. I’ve seen people that are stretched so thin give t