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Summer Breeze

In order to live right side up sometimes our world needs to be turned upside down. I'm so thankful for my children. I now KNOW that every twist, turn, up and down moment in my life was because God had a Plan for me. Even my Mother's passing was uniquely timed by The Creator to coincide with my sons birth. The devotion to my pregnancy and the distractions of being a Mother allowed my grief to retreat to the quiet moments like when a Yankee has a milestone. When my favorite actor Michael B. Jordan has the same favorite song as her ( I Wanna Thank You) by Alicia Meyers.

Today was an awesome day for Jermaine Jr. Every day with him is an adventure but today was great. This ain't my first time at the rodeo. Raising a Black son in America isn't an easy feat. In the Metropolis I live in it is difficult at times to navigate through it all. I crave the suburban life yet know that my heart lies in Gotham City. So I have to make moves to achieve both. I am my harshest critic. I see the good in everyone and everything but myself. I can sell a blind person a map yet the road to my own riches, the GPS resides inside of ME! I know I need to be on point. I just feel like there's not enough hours in the day sometimes. Then I watch all these Superheroes disguised as Moms and Dads, caregivers, teachers and business owners making it happen all the while trying not to get their capes dirty because laundry isn't on the to-do-list for today.

I am so excited about school this fall for Jermaine. The setting, the teachers, the environment. I cant believe eighteen years has flown by since David started school. I have seen and been through so much in my lifetime. Yet putting most of my energy into my children has given me a purpose that cannot compare to anything else. My advice to my own adult child and anyone from his generation is to amass people, life and social skills. The money, tenure and accolades will come if you work hard enough. To paraphrase the great Warren Buffet-if you're not a nice person filled with compassion and integrity it doesn't matter your upbringing or intelligence you will never be the best candidate for ANYTHING. Ergo our current sitting commander-in-chief.

I am in a great place. I'm excited about the journey ahead. (In my Landon from "A Walk to Remember voice) Gone are the days of trying to be the best and help people that don't even see me. I craved a family that was loving, forgiving and cherished me my entire life. I have one comprised of people that don't focus on your faults, shortcomings or disabilities. NOT ONE TIME do they bring up my hearing loss. My parents never did either. I was in a meeting recently for Jermaine and Auntie Helen wanted me to verbally WASH this twit I severed ties with. I got her right months ago and I spent too much time on it. All I said was "she's the wrong person to represent your organization." I am going to be an advisor for the Early Intervention program in my city. I have had an overall positive experience yet there are things that can run better. I believe everyone deserves the best for their children regardless of class, socioeconomic status, race-you get my drift. My county is so diverse-you never really know unless you're in the Department of Motor Vehicles, Court, doing something related to your children or traffic.

This Summer has taught me that I need to get out my own way. Focus on myself at times because self care isn't selfish. Peoples opinions of you are none of your business. I need to get my body right. My spirit is shifting and with JJ in school I can walk, go to the gym and get myself together. I relapsed I smoked THREE cigarettes like a dummy. It was last week but I will be ok I'm NEVER doing it again. Nicotine is a hell of drug like I REALLY woke up and smoked the third one. I took like three pulls of each and wet them up and threw them away. My Mother told me she had a trach in her throat yet still always wanted a cigarette. Shit that and watching my sodium is about all I'm doing right smh. I'm a get this body right before Christmas I have to.

Whatever comes I am HERE for it. I feel like this is MY TIME. I'm good, happy and thankful. These are the sweetest days....




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