Skip to main content

Through the Fire

I have been going through some things recently as I’m SURE we ALL have. At my former employer, the union motto was “In unity there’s strength! That’s not always TRUE and it’s not always a negative thing to stand or walk alone. 


I’m not going to allow ANYONE to make me feel inadequate or that my feelings don’t matter or are not valid! I’m not SORRY I’m GREAT at MANY things. I’m not SORRY that The Creator TIME and TIME again has made a way for ME! This is His PLAN and not mine.....


My Mother used to say “if wishes were horses beggars would ride” During this time in HISTORY where uncertainty, sickness, strife and chaos linger in the air like a fog at sunrise I KNOW who I AM! I know how long it has taken me to get here and how far I have come. I didn’t WISH for it I WORKED for it! 


My son Jermaine Jr. is my BABY! He is one of  the most intelligent, handsome and dapper young  men I have ever encountered. To KNOW him is to LOVE and ADORE my CHILD! He is the personification of bliss. He is so SWEET! 


I don’t CARE what ANYONE thinks or says about ME! I’m almost closer to 50 than 40 and ALL of my LIFE no matter how many city wide writing contests and spelling bees I won, grades skipped, overcoming my hearing impairment and leading a fulfilled life for myself and sons I’m STILL targeted because OTHERS don’t like WHO they SEE in the MiRROR. That doesn’t have ANYTHING to do WITH me....


You open up Facebook and SEE something I post before I wash the dishes or JJ gets my phone and deletes every app I have in 27 seconds. My child turns the lights on in my house OVER and OVER and OVER and OVER again! Teaching a child to speak and you are deaf is so HARD! I just keep it moving right along because God gives His toughest battles to his strongest soldiers. I’m a leader by example and inspiring others to not give up despite your present circumstances. 


I’m not going to sheepishly go quietly into the night and sit in the corner like they TRIED to do “Baby”  I’m just OK over HERE! I am! I’m over here creating, living and THRIVING! Im not perfect and don’t claim to be! But God knows my HEART! 


I digress, the same people that think I’m jealous or envy them I really PITY you. After EVERYTHING we have experienced and witnessed you still choose to tear people down because your not happy within. 

That’s some sad shit. 


They talked about Jesus Christ. I’m just going to KEEP getting BETTER.  Aint nobody got to worry about me “bothering” them. I’m dead ass serious. Moving Right Along 


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Family Ties

When you are an overachiever, successful and KiND you can’t let people drain and drag you down because they can’t RELATE. It will change your personality because you will be on sets and in rooms that you don’t belong in.  Don’t you think I KNOW that if I was docile, submissive, subservient and STUPID what my life would be LIKE? Who I would of become? Where I would of ended up?  Until RECENTLY I HONESTLY was SCARED to TELL my STORY. I STILL wasn’t READY. But being at Auntie S’s beautiful home last Christmas and her pleading with me to WRITE our STORY with her beautiful, clear Doe looking eyes that mirror my Grendmothers I KNEW I had too. Nana used to look at me the SAME way.  Because my Uncle Sam who has ALWAYS had my BACK throughout my entire life whether it be OVERJOYED I was SKIPPING a GRADE. Helping  me write my business PLAN, letting me drive his BRAND new CAR for my road test and being the FIRST one in my FAMILY including my parents that I told I was pregnant with DAVID. At Uncle

Betty Baisley

 As I write but more importantly LIVE I THANK y’all for letting me sit in the front of the bus and listen to music with y’all when I stilll could hear. Papa used to turn the music up real loud for me too on the way to his customers to make his deliveries.  For keeping me in Ms, Goldstein’s class knowing I may have needed a different environment. For coming to my first day of Junior High school (albeit afterschool WHO does that?) For pressing my hair SO GOOD the first day of Martin. For telling me that Brooklyn Tech was a memory (I got waitlisted and didn’t want to go to Summer School to get in because I didn’t want to go there and NANA and GRANNY knew it! ) To not beat myself up over it. (Mommy is STILL MAD in Heaven❤️) To standing outside Martin with Aunt Colette and Mommy because the girls didn’t like me but the boys did!  The most important lesson I learned was to put ME FIRST! NANA you loved us ALL independently and individually. You made sure we had toiletries, pens to do homework

South Side we OUTSIDE

 I haven’t been bothering ANYONE I stay to myself and take care of my child and my business! I saw two GORGEOUS apartments in NY that wasn’t the right fit for JJ and I. With Aunt Colette and Ms. May because no matter WHAT they have going ON they GOT me! So in ONE WEEK I have set in place the steps to for THE FIRST TIME in my LIFE do exactly WTF I WANNA do! It’s so LIBERATING!  I’m not letting NOBODY stress me OUT! Y’all can HAVE that! I’m JJ’s EVERYTHING! I’m such a GOOD MOTHER! BOTH TIMES! I ask GOD EVERY day to give me the strength to keep moving! Y’all don’t KNOW what I go through!  I don’t care WHO TALK about ME!  I don’t CARE! I always did! I always respect people that don’t respect me! I love who I LOVE! SO! I LISTEN and act RIGHT too! I co-sign on EVERYTHING y’all do! I give the fresh perspective, advice when solicited because WHO AM I TO JUDGE!  I’m so HAPPY and PROUD of myself! My Sister and I are a TAG TEAM! My FAMILY is AMAZING and Nana and Pop Pop didn’t CARE if anyone thou