Skip to main content

I’m Speaking

 My Children’s GROWTH, conquering my FEAR of FLYING, keeping JJ in a wonderful LEARNING environment, traveling the WORLD and HEALING from being ABANDONED by Damn near everyone I HELPED time and time AGAIN! It was too MUCH ALL the TIME yet it taught me that if I put all that effort into me and mines I could create MAGIC. 


Don’t nobody LOVE harder than ME. My FAMILY, FRIENDS etc. I’m not EVER going to apologize for THAT. But I KNOW in order to GROW you have to LET go. My life changed when I rewrote my STORY. 


I watched my entire hometown be completely rebuilt throughout the sorrow of The Pandemic. Out of the ashes of despair, uncertainty, class, religion and race division, and YES generational disenfranchisement has emerged a budding metropolis for future generations of New Yorkers. 


 Above ALL losing my Mother on that bright September day six and a half years ago while pregnant with JJ set me on this trajectory. David’s support and foundation yes helped strengthen my resolve and solidify my character. But knowing that my Mother sees me and cheers for me from her heavenly perch with EVERYONE else who has every loved me unconditionally helps me progress and MAINTAIN. 


People will rewrite history and paint you the villain yet GOD knows my heart and I’m trying. Trying to raise JJ to be a loving, productive member of society and to carry on the traditions that have shaped who he will become. 


I tell a lot of jokes but I told y’all when I used to give speeches as I child I saw who didn’t CLAP. I kept SPEAKING.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

2026

  Healing comes in many forms. I can only speak for myself but setting firm boundaries and choosing not to engage works wonders. I literally see people’s names and recoil.  I always was making the effort. I’m not begging nobody to be in my life. I didn’t do nothing to nobody. JJ requires so MUCH of me. It’s funny because I realized just how much people don’t give AF when I stopped giving AF. I don’t CARE. If I NEVER spoke to some people again in LIFE  I will NEVER give AF. I laugh because life is so much easier without other people sh*t wearing you down. MAD out of NOWHERE. Creating FAKE conflict. Acting like yall not worried about ME but watch EVERYTHING I DO!  I raised a whole human being before I was forty. It was good and bad times but at least I can say I was present and didn’t give up. I tell a lot of jokes but I sleep good ever night behind my kids. I do. Can’t nobody make me feel BAD. Some of yall wanna dress like me, have my bubbly personality. Overcome adve...
Post a Comment
Read more

Family Ties

When you are an overachiever, successful and KiND you can’t let people drain and drag you down because they can’t RELATE. It will change your personality because you will be on sets and in rooms that you don’t belong in.  Don’t you think I KNOW that if I was docile, submissive, subservient and STUPID what my life would be LIKE? Who I would of become? Where I would of ended up?  Until RECENTLY I HONESTLY was SCARED to TELL my STORY. I STILL wasn’t READY. But being at Auntie S’s beautiful home last Christmas and her pleading with me to WRITE our STORY with her beautiful, clear Doe looking eyes that mirror my Grendmothers I KNEW I had too. Nana used to look at me the SAME way.  Because my Uncle Sam who has ALWAYS had my BACK throughout my entire life whether it be OVERJOYED I was SKIPPING a GRADE. Helping  me write my business PLAN, letting me drive his BRAND new CAR for my road test and being the FIRST one in my FAMILY including my parents that I told I was pregnant wi...
Post a Comment
Read more

Betty Baisley

 WCW I’m writing about my Grandmother for her birthday. The way she wanted me to when she was alive. The stories that my family attempt to elicit out of me. In 5th Grade I won the NYC Writing Contest based on an piece I wrote about Nana. I literally blocked it out guys ALL these years.  Not that  it was about her but the depth of the subject matter. It was the only time besides when Carlyn died and my Daddy that I really saw her cry HARD. Even now I feel like I am betraying her(I know for naught) Nothing fazed this WOMAN. To compensate for my deplorable handwriting God assigned me the gift of prose. Mommy was sooo elated. Ms. Rand too. It had been a HARD year for my family  I also have a great Memory and my paper Ms. Goldstein held on to it like Ms. Douglas and Ms. Kaplan and Karen Connors would later down the line. They always reread it over and over again and would look at me. When I feel weak and get tired of fighting the powers that be and who don’t BE I draw on ...
Post a Comment
Read more