I never dreamed you’d leave in Summer

It isn’t just the big WINS but the SMALL things that truly MATTERS. This was three years ago today. Jermaine Jr. and I on our way to one of our ADVENTURES. I always try to spend your birthday and the time you transitioned somewhere beautiful. Last year was NOLA and California. This year BOY oh BOY even though it’s a little delayed.....

My Mama knew I was having JJ but didn’t know the sex before she passed away. She would of been elated that she has another boy. Actually two more with her great grandson Zakai. She was surprised yet happy for me. Another generation, another chance and YES it was a BOY just like she predicted. “His Father would be so happy she said”. She loved Jermaine Sr. like her own Son.

I get sad because the things I CANNOT do YOU have ALWAYS done for me so I NEVER had to learn how to do. Over the years since you’ve been GONE I have learned to do them myself. You loved David so much and he ALWAYS makes it (slides through home base) so don’t even worry myself you always said that and yes my child does! I’m so proud of him Ginny. It’s the YALL in him he carries that with him.

You never NEEDED anyone so your TRIBE was filled with GOOD people and most of y’all are reunited. It’s amazing how CLOSE Allen and Gary kids are with me like it’s beautiful and born out of trying to emulate the lifelong bond you HAD with them on EARTH that y’all replicated in Heaven. They were BROKEN when you died your cousins were REALLY your BROTHERS and this YEAR Gary not checking on ME because he’s with YOU. I take comfort in that.

I REALLY said to Aunt Colette yesterday “she’s never coming back” because I STILL don’t believe it! I miss you SO MUCH I’m just trying to let LIFE play out and be GENUINE! Daniele says I am the most genuine person and kind and that’s why I stay blessed! I stopped being NICE and started being KIND. Big David taught me that the Year the world stopped....it changed EVERYTHING.....

I miss you Ginny and love you ALWAYS. Tell my Daddy I’m just MOVING right along..... #AlifewellLIVED

Comments

2026

Healing comes in many forms. I can only speak for myself but setting firm boundaries and choosing not to engage works wonders. I literally see people’s names and recoil. I always was making the effort. I’m not begging nobody to be in my life. I didn’t do nothing to nobody. JJ requires so MUCH of me. It’s funny because I realized just how much people don’t give AF when I stopped giving AF. I don’t CARE. If I NEVER spoke to some people again in LIFE I will NEVER give AF. I laugh because life is so much easier without other people sh*t wearing you down. MAD out of NOWHERE. Creating FAKE conflict. Acting like yall not worried about ME but watch EVERYTHING I DO! I raised a whole human being before I was forty. It was good and bad times but at least I can say I was present and didn’t give up. I tell a lot of jokes but I sleep good ever night behind my kids. I do. Can’t nobody make me feel BAD. Some of yall wanna dress like me, have my bubbly personality. Overcome adve...

Family Ties

When you are an overachiever, successful and KiND you can’t let people drain and drag you down because they can’t RELATE. It will change your personality because you will be on sets and in rooms that you don’t belong in. Don’t you think I KNOW that if I was docile, submissive, subservient and STUPID what my life would be LIKE? Who I would of become? Where I would of ended up? Until RECENTLY I HONESTLY was SCARED to TELL my STORY. I STILL wasn’t READY. But being at Auntie S’s beautiful home last Christmas and her pleading with me to WRITE our STORY with her beautiful, clear Doe looking eyes that mirror my Grendmothers I KNEW I had too. Nana used to look at me the SAME way. Because my Uncle Sam who has ALWAYS had my BACK throughout my entire life whether it be OVERJOYED I was SKIPPING a GRADE. Helping me write my business PLAN, letting me drive his BRAND new CAR for my road test and being the FIRST one in my FAMILY including my parents that I told I was pregnant wi...

Betty Baisley

WCW I’m writing about my Grandmother for her birthday. The way she wanted me to when she was alive. The stories that my family attempt to elicit out of me. In 5th Grade I won the NYC Writing Contest based on an piece I wrote about Nana. I literally blocked it out guys ALL these years. Not that it was about her but the depth of the subject matter. It was the only time besides when Carlyn died and my Daddy that I really saw her cry HARD. Even now I feel like I am betraying her(I know for naught) Nothing fazed this WOMAN. To compensate for my deplorable handwriting God assigned me the gift of prose. Mommy was sooo elated. Ms. Rand too. It had been a HARD year for my family I also have a great Memory and my paper Ms. Goldstein held on to it like Ms. Douglas and Ms. Kaplan and Karen Connors would later down the line. They always reread it over and over again and would look at me. When I feel weak and get tired of fighting the powers that be and who don’t BE I draw on ...

YOU are Enough

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