My kids are amazing. Last night one was eating a piece of Kit Kat and the other was eating a cheese doodle. Both had on a T-shirt and basketball shorts. They act just like each other. I see David in Jermaine. Jermaine is so strong. He is a little one but his strength is evident. He's very spoiled. I ADMIT THIS. My Daddy who helped me raise David had him in check. I used to be sad that Daddy only got to experience the first ten years of his life. Looking back retrospectively I know his heavenly guidance and intervention has saved David many times. It's so easy to get caught up in the trappings of lifestyles, circumstances and just plain old fashioned nonsense. I'm not the perfect Mother but I go hard for my kids. I try to do the best I can with the resources I have. It something both my parents did for us and their parents and well you get the picture.
My Maternal Grandparents Ed Lee and Helen Jenkins with my Aunt Doris and Uncle Phillip Walker made the choice to leave my Mom and Auntie and my many cousins in North Carolina for a year with my Great grandparents to migrate to New York so that WE could have a better life. Granny said it was one of the hardest times of her life being away from her children. But she did it. I look back at ALL the times my family has rallied around each other. Grandparents are extra gifts from God and step in to lighten the load. Family is everything and some people don't appreciate or respect that. Friends, lovers, allies and coworkers come and go but family is forever. They accept you for who you are and love you unconditionally. I can tell my cousins things I have never shared with anyone else. They keeps no records of wrongs. They don't judge you.
My Father has been on my mind alot lately. As many know his Nickname was Moving Right Along. I look just like my Father. I hid at Aunt Darlene and Uncle Sam's wedding after his SHOWSTOPPING rendition of "You are so beautiful" because I was embarrassed everyone kept asking me was that my father. His Jheri Curl(ya'll know Daddy had good hair, a perm and a Jheri Curl at the same time smh) was so on point that day in the rain though and Mommy was so happy that was her man that day!
So talented a beautiful singer, he played multiple instruments. He was a Vietnam War Veteran, Tractor Truck Driver and instructor. He was with his students the week before the Towers came down at Two World Trade. It hit him HARD. How do you go to driving school to drive a bus and end up teaching the class? And don't really wanna do it but do it when you get tired of driving the bus because you OLD? ONLY RONALD. I went rollerskating a few weeks ago and anyone who has known me all my life knows I used to rollerskate with my father as a child. I was very angry with my Father for a long time because of the things he went through. Even after he died I harbored this resentment. My Father had his demons. But he was a GOOD Father.
Many wonderful memories feel my heart with joy. The Science Fair and my volcano. The ear he helped me make out of homemade clay that was beautiful and our Presentation and how nice he looked. The trips he took with David and his PS 253 Family and how they all attended his funeral. Prepping both David and I for the spelling bees. Our shared love of the saxophone(SUPER NERD) One story that I remembered this week was when everyone came running to our house saying Daddy beat Big David up in front of the Check Cashing place on Mott Avenue when he found out I was pregnant. He hit him like twice. David didn't disrespect him he never would. He swore to me he would be there for me and he was. He gave me my insulin, he measured my food portions on that scale. He watched David breath while I slept. He made sure I kept that "good ass job" even when I hated going to that good ass job. I look back and miss him so much. My Father was a great person who was loved by his family and a loyal friend. His siblings speak so fondly of him even after all this time. The favorite brother out of the Super Six. Life wasn't great for him all the time and over the last ten years I have gotten to know more of who he was. He loved Mommy and was just a real man and I'm so sorry we didn't have more time. I wish he was still here.
So talented a beautiful singer, he played multiple instruments. He was a Vietnam War Veteran, Tractor Truck Driver and instructor. He was with his students the week before the Towers came down at Two World Trade. It hit him HARD. How do you go to driving school to drive a bus and end up teaching the class? And don't really wanna do it but do it when you get tired of driving the bus because you OLD? ONLY RONALD. I went rollerskating a few weeks ago and anyone who has known me all my life knows I used to rollerskate with my father as a child. I was very angry with my Father for a long time because of the things he went through. Even after he died I harbored this resentment. My Father had his demons. But he was a GOOD Father.
Many wonderful memories feel my heart with joy. The Science Fair and my volcano. The ear he helped me make out of homemade clay that was beautiful and our Presentation and how nice he looked. The trips he took with David and his PS 253 Family and how they all attended his funeral. Prepping both David and I for the spelling bees. Our shared love of the saxophone(SUPER NERD) One story that I remembered this week was when everyone came running to our house saying Daddy beat Big David up in front of the Check Cashing place on Mott Avenue when he found out I was pregnant. He hit him like twice. David didn't disrespect him he never would. He swore to me he would be there for me and he was. He gave me my insulin, he measured my food portions on that scale. He watched David breath while I slept. He made sure I kept that "good ass job" even when I hated going to that good ass job. I look back and miss him so much. My Father was a great person who was loved by his family and a loyal friend. His siblings speak so fondly of him even after all this time. The favorite brother out of the Super Six. Life wasn't great for him all the time and over the last ten years I have gotten to know more of who he was. He loved Mommy and was just a real man and I'm so sorry we didn't have more time. I wish he was still here.
Writing makes the memories vivid. It puts things in perspective. It gives you a place to honor the ones who instilled in you your morals, character and personality. I don't like my loyalty trait. I want to be heartless like everyone else. It's just not in me. I can't see not taking care of my responsibilities. I can't see flesh of my flesh existing and not being engaged with them. I'm working to achieve a balance. I JUST GO HARD FOR ME AND MINES. Unapologetically and with not an iota of remorse. I want to do laundry in my own home at 5 am. I want to drink a cup of coffee on my deck at 5am while my laundry is drying on my laptop and watch the sunrise. And maybe just maybe see the same sunset in the same exact spot on the same day. And still have money left over to ball out in Walmart and Kohl's lol. I'm not trying to move to Calabasas YET I'm just trying to move on up while Moving right along.
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