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Trust What God Blocks

I am a procrastinator. I wait to the last minute for everything. I always used to be late all the time. When you have a toddler you have to be ready and aware at a moments notice for everything. It rearranges your priorities. I'm always on time now. I have my lists and my coupons and I just learned how to slow down.

All of my life I have loved The Lord. By know means an Angel-I sin daily yet I have always leaned on my faith. My Mother used to always say "you wanna hear a joke tell God your plans". Now throughout my life, my trials and tribulations I never in a million years would think I would have another child. As David aged I began to see being a grandmother far down the road. Maybe then I would have my own little girl. Eboni and Bert honored me when they selected me to be Angelica Baisley's Godmother. That void of pinks and purples has now been filled. God is good all the time and all the time God is good. Jermaine is my blessing.

As the year winds down I look back at all I accomplished. I write almost every day. It's difficult at times, the raw, uncensored and candid recollections. It's poignant and therapeutic as well. I am so proud of myself. Battered, weary and oh so tired like the Phoenix I arose out of the ashes. It's all TRUE. Every word, story happened.  I am so blessed and highly favored. I have a great support system of people who care about my children and I. It was extremely difficult to reinvent myself once again. I am a survivor but when you don't get help from the people who you helped OVER and over again it can make you bitter. Don't let it. I find myself stopping people in their tracks. YES it happened. YES it was wrong BUT don't spend another day, hour or minute thinking about it. God sees and knows all. He has a divine plan for me. He KNEW in order to get me where I needed to be He had to change everything. I just have to trust the process and let Him God my path.

Are some days better than others? Absolutely. I try to empower women who are going through things in their lives. Help them obtain affordable housing, childcare, employment and sometimes just be there to listen and comfort. I KNOW how it feels to have no one take the time to care. Yet there are so many people that DO. My son goes above and beyond what is required to help me. My family is always there when it matters. I have made so many new connections this year. My days are filled with my professional achievements that I don't spotlight enough or even let sink in. 2017 flew by. I am focused on creating a brand, a legacy and it's happening. Having David and Jermaine on my journey with me motivates me. It is what it is. I bear no ill will or bitterness against anyone. If trying to be better than ME or go HARD against me is allowing others to grown and rebuild their lives than my TRUE purpose as a LEADER has been fulfilled.  I don't need or want any pats on the back or accolades for my parenting. Just respect and peace.

2017 was the year of the Woman. From all walks of life, ethnicities,ages, professions, religions. People can attempt to break everything you have but don't allow them to touch your spirit. Batter it if you must but in the coming year CLAIM everything you DESIRE. I'm going to publish my book even if I have to go to the Brooklyn Public Library and print them out one by one and sell them myself. Ms. Sharon Sonna's sweet Mother suggested this to me years ago. I'm going to travel with and without my kids. I'm going to receive the love that I have given freely in the past. Unconditionally and wholeheartedly. I want to be spoiled, catered to and cherished. Even if I have to do it myself. Trust what God Blocks.

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