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Perfection is unattainable

It's been a long week. I KNEW when I started writing that the words were going to flow from my mind and create not only a record of my strengths but the process was going to be therapeutic as well. It's NOTHING like doing what you feel good at to make you feel good.

I'm not rushing ANYTHING. I am working on being more present in the moment. To enjoy things, times, experiences. I had to let go of what I cannot change in order to concentrate on what I can. I'm too talented, intelligent and beautiful to be bitter. People are just that-PEOPLE. Last weekend I enjoyed myself so much because I was acting like I didn't have a care in the world. I honestly don't-I'm good. Always have been even when I wasn't. That's the Jenkins in me. We are built like that. When you spend time with people who value their time and yours, it's enjoyable. When you make me feel good and valued-I will respond in such.

The world is going to try to beat you down. Regardless of class, race, gender, sexual preference, religion, political affiliation, disability. The times we live in NOTHING is sacred. Humanity is on the brink of extinction. Even in our bodies we are becoming devoid of emotion. Empathy is no longer ingrained in many. Commiserative glances aren't found on checkout lines. Warm hearted twinkles are not seen in strangers eyes.

I say all that to say this: be KIND to yourself. Others are unkind. This is their lot in life. Looking for validation in others isn't the move. Beating yourself up isn't either. Just go with the flow. I told ya'll I was raised on soap operas and sitcoms. My mother worked nights so I would come home from school and watch "Santa Barbara"(while it was taping) Daddy would tape "Days of Our Lives" and Another World" (this was the NBC years) I would watch it and tell her was it worth getting up early to watch it or just give her a synopsis. It took me seeing Tisha Campbell go to sleep with a clip on ponytail and no scarf on " Martin" to realize life isn't a fairytale. But it's good and worth living.

David told me recently " You remember everything" I don't-some memories blur, some names escape me yet I do have a sense of what I experienced over the last forty years. I am just trying to be EVERYTHING to my kids. As most of us are. Don't waste the days, the gift that God gives us by tearing YOU down. I'm speaking to myself as well. Just live your life by the standards and beliefs that were instilled in you.


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