Skip to main content

Perfection is unattainable

It's been a long week. I KNEW when I started writing that the words were going to flow from my mind and create not only a record of my strengths but the process was going to be therapeutic as well. It's NOTHING like doing what you feel good at to make you feel good.

I'm not rushing ANYTHING. I am working on being more present in the moment. To enjoy things, times, experiences. I had to let go of what I cannot change in order to concentrate on what I can. I'm too talented, intelligent and beautiful to be bitter. People are just that-PEOPLE. Last weekend I enjoyed myself so much because I was acting like I didn't have a care in the world. I honestly don't-I'm good. Always have been even when I wasn't. That's the Jenkins in me. We are built like that. When you spend time with people who value their time and yours, it's enjoyable. When you make me feel good and valued-I will respond in such.

The world is going to try to beat you down. Regardless of class, race, gender, sexual preference, religion, political affiliation, disability. The times we live in NOTHING is sacred. Humanity is on the brink of extinction. Even in our bodies we are becoming devoid of emotion. Empathy is no longer ingrained in many. Commiserative glances aren't found on checkout lines. Warm hearted twinkles are not seen in strangers eyes.

I say all that to say this: be KIND to yourself. Others are unkind. This is their lot in life. Looking for validation in others isn't the move. Beating yourself up isn't either. Just go with the flow. I told ya'll I was raised on soap operas and sitcoms. My mother worked nights so I would come home from school and watch "Santa Barbara"(while it was taping) Daddy would tape "Days of Our Lives" and Another World" (this was the NBC years) I would watch it and tell her was it worth getting up early to watch it or just give her a synopsis. It took me seeing Tisha Campbell go to sleep with a clip on ponytail and no scarf on " Martin" to realize life isn't a fairytale. But it's good and worth living.

David told me recently " You remember everything" I don't-some memories blur, some names escape me yet I do have a sense of what I experienced over the last forty years. I am just trying to be EVERYTHING to my kids. As most of us are. Don't waste the days, the gift that God gives us by tearing YOU down. I'm speaking to myself as well. Just live your life by the standards and beliefs that were instilled in you.


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

2026

  Healing comes in many forms. I can only speak for myself but setting firm boundaries and choosing not to engage works wonders. I literally see people’s names and recoil.  I always was making the effort. I’m not begging nobody to be in my life. I didn’t do nothing to nobody. JJ requires so MUCH of me. It’s funny because I realized just how much people don’t give AF when I stopped giving AF. I don’t CARE. If I NEVER spoke to some people again in LIFE  I will NEVER give AF. I laugh because life is so much easier without other people sh*t wearing you down. MAD out of NOWHERE. Creating FAKE conflict. Acting like yall not worried about ME but watch EVERYTHING I DO!  I raised a whole human being before I was forty. It was good and bad times but at least I can say I was present and didn’t give up. I tell a lot of jokes but I sleep good ever night behind my kids. I do. Can’t nobody make me feel BAD. Some of yall wanna dress like me, have my bubbly personality. Overcome adve...
Post a Comment
Read more

Family Ties

When you are an overachiever, successful and KiND you can’t let people drain and drag you down because they can’t RELATE. It will change your personality because you will be on sets and in rooms that you don’t belong in.  Don’t you think I KNOW that if I was docile, submissive, subservient and STUPID what my life would be LIKE? Who I would of become? Where I would of ended up?  Until RECENTLY I HONESTLY was SCARED to TELL my STORY. I STILL wasn’t READY. But being at Auntie S’s beautiful home last Christmas and her pleading with me to WRITE our STORY with her beautiful, clear Doe looking eyes that mirror my Grendmothers I KNEW I had too. Nana used to look at me the SAME way.  Because my Uncle Sam who has ALWAYS had my BACK throughout my entire life whether it be OVERJOYED I was SKIPPING a GRADE. Helping  me write my business PLAN, letting me drive his BRAND new CAR for my road test and being the FIRST one in my FAMILY including my parents that I told I was pregnant wi...
Post a Comment
Read more

Imitation of Life

  I read that when you feel stressed out you should plan a vacation. My good friend who supported me throughout the years in many ways invited me to celebrate her birthday with her. I’m really excited because she’s amazing and a true BOSS and we are going to have a TIME.  I am making monumental strides in life. I’m Moving Right Along like my Father taught me. Early this morning my Aunt Darlene’s post about my Mothers favorite song “I wanna Thank You” (Heavenly Father) by Alicia Meyers. It’s Michael B. Jordan’s favorite song too. He said it in Vogue’s 73 Questions.  Just seeing my Mothers Name and the fact that this was her song brought so many memories back. This world is beyond ridiculous now. Like my heart hurts but I cannot let it break. So I’m living each day on purpose in my truest form. Self care is not selfish it’s a necessity. We watch reality tv and come on. All that money. It doesn’t buy happiness but it alleviates so many problems. So choose peace every day. An...
Post a Comment
Read more