In my darkest hour I ALWAYS pray. I talk to God and ask him for his guidance(in my Yolanda Adams voice) Being reared in the church by an Evangelical Godmother my late Aunt Audrey I was reared by the affirmation that prayer changes things. And it does.
I needed Him to turn my life around. And He did on His time. I am a work in progress but I am claiming what I need and want in this life. My older cousin Shawana and I were talking recently. She is more like my Aunt in our family and she's extremely successful because's she's always evolving. Knowledge is the key and she's continuously reinventing herself and has ALWAYS been an innovative person. She listens to my dreams and desires without the "be happy for what you have now" spiel that I detest from some.
It's so HARD to grow when you are already blessed. You feel ALMOST as if wanting MORE is a sin. I just want my children to not want for anything. I want JJ to grow up in a place where he can be a CHILD and not worry about anything. That he can be exposed to positive people, places and things. That the work he puts in will be appreciated and rewarded fairly.
Most of my life I have cared about other's too much. The self proclaimed "captain save a hoe". I have no regrets in my life. It has molded me into the generous, caring and compassionate individual I am now. However I have put myself FIRST now. And I LOVE it. I truly do. I love my life NOW. I slip sometimes and still get angry at the lame stuff people do but that's their lot in life. When you stop caring what people think your load gets so much lighter.
25 years has flown by. 10 years has flown by. 18 months has flown by. I'm just trying to live, take care of my kids, have fun and create magic. Mommy used to always tell me "Kim WRITE. Let your light shine." And I am one word at a time.
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