I have been reflective lately. In order to move forward you have to take stock of where you have been. I am blessed to have some really special people in my life. 2017 has been a great year for me with new beginnings. I have met so many wonderful souls and bonded with or reconnected with bright lights who illuminate this dark world.
Writing has always been for me an outlet. I sincerely hope Jermaine has inherited this trait from me. My baby is so smart. He is so technologically advanced and I try to incorporate many things in his daily routine. As a new mother again I find myself gravitating towards the things that of course two years ago were foreign to me. As a Single mother I am basically the only example daily other than his Big Brother David so I have to make the right choices at all times. It's a daunting task to say the least.
My parents and grandparents were alive and healthy and VERY hands on as I climbed the corporate ladder. They helped me immensely and for that I am and always will be eternally grateful. My Aunts Colette and Helen have then and now been my eyes and ears with my kids and David's paternal Aunt Malishia is one of the reasons why I was able to exceed all expectations in many facets of my life. She always had my back with David and I love her and her husband for it. She allowed me to work longer hours, have free time for myself and basically just was always there. The irony is that she is related to David through her former relationship with his Uncle. Their son Robert and I are extremely close as he has entered adulthood. He loves Jermaine so much and he is a new father as well. We have a lot in common and I am amazed at how responsible, loving and hands on Cody is as a Father at such a young age.
That's why relocating is very important to me. Jermaine was born in a polarizing time. The world is a sad place yet full of potential for those who choose to seize it. New York will always be my home. I just want to live a different life and give David and Jermaine the opportunity to see a different way of living. Where I want to go is filled with the people who "GET ME" We have similar interests. The quality of life is so much better. It's just my speed. I feel empowered and independent there. In my life I have always played it safe. I am the best advice giver if I do say so myself. Not only can I sell a blind person a map but hanging out with me will have you believing in yourself and loving who you see in the mirror. That will never change. It's a gift I have that my Beautiful, Sweet Mother passed down to me. She was always encouraging and motivating people. I however always tend to put myself last. At least I used to.
My son David is my best friend. We have grown so close over the last six months. I am so proud of him. He is a very positive person. He holds no grudges and harbors no ill will against anyone. I envy that in him. I have apologized to him many times about the poor choices I have made in the past. He doesn't care. He is focused on the NOW and us building a legacy for J.J. He told me that getting himself situated is imperative because J.J. is watching. He worries about me. I am always filled with anxiety because the load is so heavy. The rewards are great yes but stepping out on faith is so hard for a person who tends to over think which sunglasses to don to go to the store. Even my writing, this blog, had to be coaxed out of me as an exercise/challenge from my multitasking and positive cousin EboniSharear who all our lives has been my lighthouse. Even with all that she has going on she carved a niche just for me. She looks up to me so much yet she sets the bar for the all encompassing Wonder Woman. As Mommy used to say"it's not the load but how you handle it" that truly defines you. It feels so good to have someone you can depend on with no agenda, envy or angst towards you.
I took a trip Memorial Day weekend and it changed my life. People will come and go in your life. What you put in will often unfortunately not be reciprocated. I don't care about money or things. Time is the most precious commodity. Don't spend it stuck in the past, regretting decisions. It is what it is. Spend it with people that you can depend on and vice-versa. People that motivate you. My big baby said to me that when I meet people I'm like a STAR. That I'm going to "make it" and don't dwell on the past the future is calling. I'm his hero. God knows what he is doing. I digress-the nurse and I at my Doctor are like twins she is my boo and so focused. We have so much in common and we are planning a girls night. The greatest gift God could of given me is allowing me to find my tribe.
Writing has always been for me an outlet. I sincerely hope Jermaine has inherited this trait from me. My baby is so smart. He is so technologically advanced and I try to incorporate many things in his daily routine. As a new mother again I find myself gravitating towards the things that of course two years ago were foreign to me. As a Single mother I am basically the only example daily other than his Big Brother David so I have to make the right choices at all times. It's a daunting task to say the least.
My parents and grandparents were alive and healthy and VERY hands on as I climbed the corporate ladder. They helped me immensely and for that I am and always will be eternally grateful. My Aunts Colette and Helen have then and now been my eyes and ears with my kids and David's paternal Aunt Malishia is one of the reasons why I was able to exceed all expectations in many facets of my life. She always had my back with David and I love her and her husband for it. She allowed me to work longer hours, have free time for myself and basically just was always there. The irony is that she is related to David through her former relationship with his Uncle. Their son Robert and I are extremely close as he has entered adulthood. He loves Jermaine so much and he is a new father as well. We have a lot in common and I am amazed at how responsible, loving and hands on Cody is as a Father at such a young age.
That's why relocating is very important to me. Jermaine was born in a polarizing time. The world is a sad place yet full of potential for those who choose to seize it. New York will always be my home. I just want to live a different life and give David and Jermaine the opportunity to see a different way of living. Where I want to go is filled with the people who "GET ME" We have similar interests. The quality of life is so much better. It's just my speed. I feel empowered and independent there. In my life I have always played it safe. I am the best advice giver if I do say so myself. Not only can I sell a blind person a map but hanging out with me will have you believing in yourself and loving who you see in the mirror. That will never change. It's a gift I have that my Beautiful, Sweet Mother passed down to me. She was always encouraging and motivating people. I however always tend to put myself last. At least I used to.
My son David is my best friend. We have grown so close over the last six months. I am so proud of him. He is a very positive person. He holds no grudges and harbors no ill will against anyone. I envy that in him. I have apologized to him many times about the poor choices I have made in the past. He doesn't care. He is focused on the NOW and us building a legacy for J.J. He told me that getting himself situated is imperative because J.J. is watching. He worries about me. I am always filled with anxiety because the load is so heavy. The rewards are great yes but stepping out on faith is so hard for a person who tends to over think which sunglasses to don to go to the store. Even my writing, this blog, had to be coaxed out of me as an exercise/challenge from my multitasking and positive cousin EboniSharear who all our lives has been my lighthouse. Even with all that she has going on she carved a niche just for me. She looks up to me so much yet she sets the bar for the all encompassing Wonder Woman. As Mommy used to say"it's not the load but how you handle it" that truly defines you. It feels so good to have someone you can depend on with no agenda, envy or angst towards you.
I took a trip Memorial Day weekend and it changed my life. People will come and go in your life. What you put in will often unfortunately not be reciprocated. I don't care about money or things. Time is the most precious commodity. Don't spend it stuck in the past, regretting decisions. It is what it is. Spend it with people that you can depend on and vice-versa. People that motivate you. My big baby said to me that when I meet people I'm like a STAR. That I'm going to "make it" and don't dwell on the past the future is calling. I'm his hero. God knows what he is doing. I digress-the nurse and I at my Doctor are like twins she is my boo and so focused. We have so much in common and we are planning a girls night. The greatest gift God could of given me is allowing me to find my tribe.
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