I'm trying to juggle everything. It's really hard trying to create an Empire as a single mother. Building a brand doesn't have a structured schedule. When David was little my parents and grandparents were just a phone call away. I try not to bite off more than I can chew. I try not to commit myself to things knowing I may not be able to go. It pays to network and be honest with people. As a hearing impaired person text and email are my primary methods of communication. I write well and people are accommodating. My dream is to be like one of my Idols June Ambrose who incorporates her children into her world and they are so talented, focused and cultured at a young age. Like the late Dr. West was with Kanye. Rome wasn't built in a day.
I went out to dinner last night with my good friend Shirelle and to an event for her Motor Club. Lobster Bisque is my new big girl crack. I don't know what I would of done without her from my pregnancy and through it all. We had so much fun last night acting like we were 22. David helps me alot when I want to have some time for myself. The bond my boys have helps me sleep at night and wakes me up with a smile. I can't make up for poor choices and human shortcomings. I am not going to spend the rest of my life trying to either. Just find your TRIBE. People that care about you. That inspire and support you. That share your dreams and can visualize them coming true. Who you can actually share your dreams with.
Letting someone in is so hard. That's what I'm going through RIGHT now. I don't have my mother's clairvoyance to aid me. The girl that used to LOVE so HARD can't even commit to a strong LIKE. Mind you his EYES sparkle when I speak, he laughs at ALL my jokes, we have our own sign language AND all he does is work and take care of his daughters. He thinks I'm an excellent Mom, loves my food and the fact that I like basketball too. Did I mention that he's forty and looks twenty-eight? He's so attractive, realistic and patient. He detests drama and triviality. He just wants me to be content in the moment and enjoy the time we spend together. And let him carry some of the load. Let go and trust him. Merriam-Webster defines trust as assured reliance on the character, ability, strength or truth of someone or something. One in which confidence is placed. People ask me how I met him-I always smile and say " being Kim again". Even when he reads this all he's going to say is "REALLY" And the only thing he's going to want is some good food and to watch basketball and SCARY movies that ain't so SCARY watching them with him. My Mo better blues-Mommy would get a kick out of him.
I was so angry over lost TIME. I had to let that go. I have gained some much insight and PEACE over the last six months. I was rushing to accomplish what is already written. If you KNOW what you want then that's half the battle. And don't forget to do more living in your life .
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