YOU are Enough

 January 2, 2007 was not an ordinary day in my life. I was already scheduled to work only half a day because I had to take my son to a doctors appointment because he was being admitted to the hospital to see where his seizures that had suddenly come about were originating from.  Sal was my Manager but he also was my tub mate and friend. He listened to my stories, NEVER once fronted on me or used anything about ME to get ahead at work. He taught me to work SMARTER and not HARDER. He would answer my phone for me if my Father called too many times in a row and take messages so they KNEW each other. Right before I left that day he said he wanted to talk to me and told me don’t worry about David he would be ok and I said to Sal “he makes me sooo sick but I love him” as I sent Daddy to voicemail. He said “he’s your father” (y’all HEAR him RIGHT) I DID too.  My Father died that night.  When I came back to work weeks later and still too soon Sal grabbed me up and rubbed my s...

 I SMILE because my CHILD who I put EVERYTHING into EVERYDAY is THRIVING! Early Intervention, ABA Services, Pre K, Kindergarten most through Quarantine and COVID. I DID that. I SMILE because being an African-American Woman with a disability has NEVER stopped me from living an idyllic life that was designed by The Creator.  The Battles I FIGHT daily aren’t even mine they are The Lord’s. The life for my child that many COVET I struggle at times but I make strides.  I want to personally THANK all the people that have helped me through the years to get to where we need to go. I may COMPLAIN at times because it’s HARD doing EVERYTHING but I rejoice because it has made me a stronger, better human being.  I often feel conflicted because I live my life RIGHT and am an honorable, kind person but when you PLAY with ME especially when I am going through my own HEALTH crisis I take UMBRAGE to THAT. I don’t BOTHER anyone. I stay out the WAY. I LIKE my LIFE. I CREATED it! I cultiv...

 I fell asleep with JJ at 7:57🤣🤣🤣🤣 so I’m up now S/N: To my beautiful and loving Mother I’m sorry I was a NERD and had mad homework 🤣🤣🤣JJ has so much homework he be LIKE (insets groans and slow, dramatic fall to the ground)I’m SERIOUS when the homework pack come out. She gives them a WEEK I LOVE a teacher who TEACHES. Jermaine has had wonderful Teachers. His speech therapist only accepts full sentences from him now. His report card was amazing. All G’s and S’s. In everything he is present and thriving. He excels in Social Studies and Math. I love the way his mind connects life. He is blessed and highly favored.  The Thanksgiving Art contest is coming and I have to help him I’m a let him ROCK. It’s amazing how far  being present and focused can lead you. I’m so proud of my child. And myself. We have come so far. 

 Sitting here reflecting how FAR my Baby has COME. His speech teacher said she is only accepting FULL sentences from him NOW....💙I appreciate everyone that calls JJ to have conversations with him, invites him to Events. Celebrates his milestones with US. I strive to be a leader by example and to bridge the divide. To be the voice for the voiceless. That’s been my mission statement since I was in my 20’s.  By NO means PERFECT I just TRY to live my LIFE right. To keep a roof over our heads, my child fed and clothes on our back. Since I’ve became a MOTHER at 19. To make sure I’m HEALTHY and HERE to raise my SON.  One of the other Moms in my support group says she constantly worries by jumping ahead to her sons adulthood and will she be around for him and what type of life will he have? I just try to get through each DAY with my Faith outweighing my FEARS.  Being burnt out and tired is a Moms plight period but special needs parents often lack the support and RESPECT tha...

  George Clooney gave a dozen of his friends a million dollars each in customized suitcases to thank them for letting him sleep on their couches and bailing him out of jams. For investing in his dreams, visions and above ALL support.  Kanye West said Meek Mills was a FED. Who would STILL be in prison if it wasn’t for Jay Z. He praises the person that was the 45th President without even addressing the treasonous war crimes he commits.  Mackenzie Scott donates unheard of amounts of money to causes and charities that are centered on uplifting minorities and women.  Kanye West is set to buy conservative social media platform Parler where they call US Monkeys, Apes, Goons, Thugs and I’m just being KIND.  This is not about him being mentally ill (which he is) because he knows exactly what he is DOING. I ALWAYS had empathy for Kanye because I KNOW there’s a thin line between brilliance and insanity.  That sh@t he said about the late George Floyd was so horrific an...

Good Morning Everyone! I feel AMAZING and I hope you do TOO!  Worry is the thief of JOY! I put EVERYTHING into changing my LIFE. EVERYTHING! Old keys don’t open new doors. Yes I am ALOT! That’s how GOD CREATED ME.  One day your life will flash before your eyes. I KNOW my Mother thought “Kim and the baby will be OK because Helen, Colette and Daniele will help her” She was correct. I do NEED help. I am NOT a MACHINE. But to whom much is given much is required. I’m thankful for my TRIBE.  My DREAMS for my SONS are to be self-sufficient. That’s IT. The magnitude of THAT lies in their will and desire to succeed. Just to be able to walk this earth and truly take care of themselves. Our lives are going to take us to different corners of the World because I made the first step three years ago to get on that plane.  I digress-if NOTHING I say resonates with you let me CLEAR-you cannot stay stagnate, you have to live your life genuinely and you cannot be consumed by how other ...

It takes a tremendous amount of WORK to EVOLVE. To clear the clutter in your mind and life.  To stay focused and keep striving when the world conditions you to be the same.  When they rely on it because it’s the Blueprint and the standard they measure their own lives by. It’s an arduous task being a leader by example.  My Father used to tell me “there will never be a Black President unless it’s YOU” That’s a confidence building premonition yet the heaviness of that statement was always sobering.  My Father was born to a Mother that made sure she was ALWAYS there for ME. I know the DEPTH of it Nana. It sustains me. I will raise my Grandchildren in your image.  I’m learning to feed people with long handed spoons and not answer to every dog’s bark  I’m not going to allow anything to stunt my growth. Or belittle the strides I’ve made. I am the Victor not a victim.  I’ve stopped giving “exit interviews” I have stopped carrying burdens that are not mine to b...

It isn’t just the big WINS but the SMALL things that truly MATTERS. This was three years ago today. Jermaine Jr. and I on our way to one of our ADVENTURES. I always try to spend your birthday and the time you transitioned somewhere beautiful. Last year was NOLA and California. This year BOY oh BOY even though it’s a little delayed..... My Mama knew I was having JJ but didn’t know the sex before she passed away. She would of been elated that she has another boy. Actually two more with her great grandson Zakai. She was surprised yet happy for me. Another generation, another chance and YES it was a BOY just like she predicted. “His Father would be so happy she said”. She loved Jermaine Sr. like her own Son.  I get sad because the things I CANNOT do YOU have ALWAYS done for me so I NEVER had to learn how to do. Over the years since you’ve been GONE I have learned to do them myself. You loved David so much and he ALWAYS makes it (slides through home base) so don’t even worry myself you ...

My Mother passed away 7 years ago this WEEK and it’s really difficult because it’s very close to her birthday so this is a melancholy (Nana’s favorite word) time for me.... I thank GOD for my FAMILY! They have my back, front and sides and this weekend let me RELAX for a minute. We took JJ to the Festival and he enjoyed himself and then celebrated Eboni’s birthday and even though she and Bert have their OWN 3 kids  EVERYTHING be about JJ even Nani was like “I got him” and pushed him ALL day on the swings and that’s Angel and Virgens daughter who’s like 6 months older I think lol.  When my Mother died I KNOW she KNEW Aunt Colette was going to BE just like she is to me EVERYTHING. NOBODY can take your PLACE Ginny but AUNTIE and Aunt Colette DO things just like you COLLECTIVELY. Aunt Darlene, Aunt Rosalie, Auntie S. (“Don’t SING/RAP it Kim SPEAK it) Shewana, TATILLA ,Titis Vanessa and Lisy, Rita, Talitha, Jaime and Jami, ALL the KIDS....AND Uncle James gonna always get us HOME saf...

I just want to thank EVERYONE who breathes LIFE into ME! Who encourages my choices, parenting, progress. Who holds my hand when I need it and cheers me up when I’m down. Who lifts me up when I’m soaring so I can go even higher.  This Summer taught me you don’t need a lot of people around you. You just need the RIGHT people around you.  A year ago I was literally sick to my stomach because the school I wanted JJ to remain in was saying he couldn’t go there anymore. I’m now the Vice President of ALL the schools and JJ is back at his site creating books, doing Yoga, eating vegetarian dumplings and being the Artist that only he can be. It was never anything more than it’s the best environment for his needs in this CITY and he belongs THERE.  I wrote a business plan that ironically was modeled for a school district in California. I have read voraciously up on how to acquire a business AND  as a woman of color and disabled. For the last twenty one years I have been DEAF. W...

Year 7 Aunt Colette  bought JJ a Scooter because he wants a hover board. If he masters the scooter(which he will) he will get a hover board. (If his Father says it’s OK)  She taught Daenerys how to use the hover board even though Uncle Sam and I wasn’t with it at first 🤣 although Aunt Darlene was OK with it. That was the day that she helped me with JJ when we were on the beach (because Aunt Colette  and Kaiden were with Nery with the hover board) and JJ was being JJ.  Dorinda, Fred, Alix and Mando wasn’t there, David and Carlton hadn’t arrived yet and Uncle James was cooking that good ass food.  My Grandparents home was the ONE place I could be MYSELF. We could bring ANYONE over there with US (ALL the August Martin “CUTTERS”) went there as long as we pulled up around 1 so we could EAT before One Life to Live came on(the Todd and Marty era)  My Mother ironically spent more time over there than Daddy did. Even when they weren’t together we went over there. W...

  Pet Peeves: I’m ALOT!  I KNOW it! But if I ask you can you provide me a SERVICE because you’re a VENDOR and you CANNOT SAY that. Don’t attempt to denotch me, belittle me or charge me an exorbitant amount for said services so I won’t order it or you can outsource it. If you want me to plan your event you will have to pay me an upfront consultation fee. You cannot pick my brain and execute the same ideas I do. I’m the ONE that FiNDS the UNIQUE services that some people can’t DO....it can be DONE I saw it on Instagram the vendor just is in Belgium of it can’t SHIP 👍🏾 I’m not NEW to this I’m TRUE to THiS. It’s exhausting and no matter how stellar your services are TRUST I can find someone ELSE to DO it. And to TOOT my own HORN loud enough for ALL to HEAR me advertising and promoting you gets you soo much business I’m not stupid and I can COUNT.  The only reason WHY I started selling my own “wares” was because my son and cousin was like stop spending your money on other pe...

 If you are an African-American Autism Mom my good friend Chloe sent me an article from Essence Magazine spotlighting a Facebook Group B.A.M. (Black Autism Moms) and my inclusion has been a gamechanger.  While the sole criteria is being a Black Mom of a child on the spectrum it in no way disrespects Mothers that have children that identify as African-American. It’s just a niche that has for so long been neglected.  I feel like unfortunately as Black Women we are raised to be strong by nature and this journey we are on with Autism is not for the weak. With little support at times people just don’t understand or care that this is a daunting journey.  With covid and the restrictions along with the rising costs in therapies and qualified caregivers especially in expensive cities we need a network of people who understand what you are going through.  I really have a LOT on my PLATE trying to get my brick and mortar Event Venue opened. I’m doing this so my child will ...

  I took part in a workshop last night about Building a Winning Team. It was informative and concise. I truly enjoyed the instructors take on delegating tasks to trained professionals in lieu of trying to do everything yourself. Which as a business owner can be difficult because you’re doing EVERYTHING. YOURSELF.  One of the core principles was to paraphrase “if you stay ready you don’t have to get ready” Having a team comprised of professionals (even in consultant roles) is imperative to having your business succeed.  I’m great at delegating tasks to others because my life is comprised of an infinite amount of time and I can’t do EVERYTHING.  At the end of this project the participants should have acquired  At the end of this project the participants should have acquired the skills and training to successfully present a business pitch. Which is a business plan showing customer needs, industry analysis, risks, financial projection, a business model, overview of ...

 I don’t know WHY😝🤦🏾‍♀️🤣🧐but some of y’all WATCH me so CLOSE its SCARY! Y’all know WHO y’all are 👀👀👀y’all got no damn BUSINESS knowing WHAT the heck I’m DOING! 🤣🤣🤣 I’m TRANSPARENT because I have a great disdain for fronting and abhor mediocrity. I have genuine people that are on my journey with me that I can rely on. People that have my back, front and sides and are a phone call away in case of emergency. We damn sure ain’t SHOOK we just got shit to LOSE.  I ALWAYS celebrate my BIRTHDAY BIG because I’m a July baby and never had the opportunity to have celebrations in school. So every year at my family reunion my Parents would celebrate and my Nana would make a BIG deal because I was a “GOOD girl” Even when I felt I wasn’t doing GOOD in life (High School, Baby at 19 with someone incarcerated) she ALWAYS said it will be OK don’t be too HARD on yourself.  I HATED my JOB and my Parents and grandparents KNEW it but it paid the BILLS. It afforded my child a life many...

 My Children’s GROWTH, conquering my FEAR of FLYING, keeping JJ in a wonderful LEARNING environment, traveling the WORLD and HEALING from being ABANDONED by Damn near everyone I HELPED time and time AGAIN! It was too MUCH ALL the TIME yet it taught me that if I put all that effort into me and mines I could create MAGIC.  Don’t nobody LOVE harder than ME. My FAMILY, FRIENDS etc. I’m not EVER going to apologize for THAT. But I KNOW in order to GROW you have to LET go. My life changed when I rewrote my STORY.  I watched my entire hometown be completely rebuilt throughout the sorrow of The Pandemic. Out of the ashes of despair, uncertainty, class, religion and race division, and YES generational disenfranchisement has emerged a budding metropolis for future generations of New Yorkers.   Above ALL losing my Mother on that bright September day six and a half years ago while pregnant with JJ set me on this trajectory. David’s support and foundation yes helped strengthe...

I have been going through some things recently as I’m SURE we ALL have. At my former employer, the union motto was “In unity there’s strength! That’s not always TRUE and it’s not always a negative thing to stand or walk alone.  I’m not going to allow ANYONE to make me feel inadequate or that my feelings don’t matter or are not valid! I’m not SORRY I’m GREAT at MANY things. I’m not SORRY that The Creator TIME and TIME again has made a way for ME! This is His PLAN and not mine..... My Mother used to say “if wishes were horses beggars would ride” During this time in HISTORY where uncertainty, sickness, strife and chaos linger in the air like a fog at sunrise I KNOW who I AM! I know how long it has taken me to get here and how far I have come. I didn’t WISH for it I WORKED for it!  My son Jermaine Jr. is my BABY! He is one of  the most intelligent, handsome and dapper young  men I have ever encountered. To KNOW him is to LOVE and ADORE my CHILD! He is the personification...

Eric Adams KNEW he was going to be Mayor LONG before he was elected. There are serious problems that have plagued the DOE for DECADES. Remote learning is inconvenient yes but it’s the safest route. It should be done TODAY. Until the end of the month. The mental health of the teachers is tantamount.  During 2020 we didn’t have any service providers come to my home to assist Jermaine. The most crucial years for children born on the spectrum. After early intervention Pre-K is viral to Autistic children. This time is different. If you close the schools for a definitive amount of time and provide support services to students and parents. And PPE including at home kits. Remote social service availability. More testing sites in highly populated areas.  EVERYTHING is about MONEY. The United States is still one of the richest countries in the world. We GOT it. The government is so corrupt and controlled so we are always at a stalemate about necessary stuff. We would love being home saf...

I became hearing impaired the Spring before September 11. I was working at the phone company and had just gotten a promotion from directory assistance operator to a representative which would morph over time into a sales consultant. It was a harrowing experience being Deaf and working in telecommunications yet I wouldn’t trade it for ANYTHING because it gave my son a childhood people STILL covet and prepared me for ANYTHING.  This picture right here is when JJ was a baby. Newly Motherless and SINGLE I took this picture because Aunt Colette A beautiful, independent and STRONG Woman and Mother. Gwendolyn’s Daughter.  I’m not who I USED to be! I am comfortable in my own skin and I KNOW and OWN who I am. I am an Intelligent woman of color who has defied odds, broken down barriers and been the voice for the voiceless. I strive to be a leader by example and bridge the divide. My community is going through a gentrifying revitalization and I am documenting and experiencing it.  I...

You can lead a horse to water but you cannot force them to drink. My Father used to say this all the time! Self care is imperative to longevity, health and prosperity. I cannot worry about anything more than myself including my children. I can’t and I AIN’T(I meant to write that) When I was in elementary school my teachers used to teach me new words every day especially Ms. Goldstein and Ms. Bell. Ms. Bell was suppose to “carry me” Ms. Goldstein went on sabbatical but came back early because we weren’t staying up to par. My classsmates and childhood friends are so brilliant! I remember everything and I still LIVE here! I learned how to read at 4 years old because I talked LATE so I was non verbal but understood  everything like JJ so Granny gave me Mommy and Auntie’s high school math book to READ! It was orange and after the first thing I said EVER “Mommy I don’t want any oatmeal” I started reading the MF BOOK y’all! (Fred loves this STORY)  I am deaf but worked at the phone c...