YOU are Enough

As the final hours of 2017 dwindle down I am taking a moment to look back on EVERYTHING that transpired. Memorial Day weekend 2017 was a catalyst in my life. God knows my heart and He had a plan for me all along. It's ok to bend but NEVER break. Everything we go through good or bad is for a purpose. Trust the process and keep moving forward. I am so excited about the New Year. I have plans, I am focused and I refuse to be discouraged! Don't let anyone take you out of your character. I KNOW it's HARD believe me I'm a heartless bitch. We spend so much of our lives worrying about things. Some days are better than others but I am happy. I was rusty for a minute, confined to my role as a stay-at-home Mom but Stella has definitely gotten her groove back. I updated my home and I love the space we live in. I wanted to make it chic, yet child-friendly so I can entertain other Mothers like myself who with the inclement weather find it hard at times to socialize. The home impr

I am a procrastinator. I wait to the last minute for everything. I always used to be late all the time. When you have a toddler you have to be ready and aware at a moments notice for everything. It rearranges your priorities. I'm always on time now. I have my lists and my coupons and I just learned how to slow down. All of my life I have loved The Lord. By know means an Angel-I sin daily yet I have always leaned on my faith. My Mother used to always say "you wanna hear a joke tell God your plans". Now throughout my life, my trials and tribulations I never in a million years would think I would have another child. As David aged I began to see being a grandmother far down the road. Maybe then I would have my own little girl. Eboni and Bert honored me when they selected me to be Angelica Baisley's Godmother. That void of pinks and purples has now been filled. God is good all the time and all the time God is good. Jermaine is my blessing. As the year winds down I look

My week started out amazing. I was going to see my Goddaughter Angelica Baisley in Delaware. I synchronized my Christmas wish list with my reality. I was going to get my hair braided. I was going to go to a movie theatre with captioning with Mo and dinner without my kids for once. I then came down with strep throat. When you are hearing impaired you feel everything more acutely. To say I was not feeling well was an understatement. I did everything-tea, gargling with salt water, rest and finally I knew before the doctor confirmed it that this was bad. Besides some contraction worthy cramps now and then this is like the second time I have been sick since Jermaine was born. I'm thankful for my baby's patience and understanding. The show must go on.  Mommy can't stop, won't stop.....(in my Puffy voice) Anyhoo last night "It's A Wonderful Life" was on. In 2015 I refused to watch it. Last year was a blur I don't really remember anything about the holiday

I'm in such a festive mood this year. I am excited about the holidays. Christmastime brings joy, peace and love. It allows you to celebrate the year and the traditions that mean so much. Lucky is gone this year but my precious Kitty lives on in my heart and his stocking will hang like it always has in honor of him. I have had two cats in my life who were ironically related and looked very much alike. I don't think I will ever get another Cat. We are getting Jermaine a SURPRISE for Christmas amongst other things. It's more for me though lol. I'm just excited to see my baby's face on Christmas morning. Knowing him he's just gonna play with the wrapping paper or knowing his meticulous self get it up and push you out the way to see the television. The Yule Log will be on in honor of my Father.  The greatest gift I received this year other than the deliverance from anything hindering my growth is the shift of my views of my childhood. I love my Father so much and h

As 2017 comes to a close I am amazed at how much progress I have made. Still working to achieve all my goals I am taking the time to devote my life to what I want. For too long I have focused on the things that weren't important. The opinion of others means nothing. My sons and their well being is ALL that matters. The higher you elevate yourself you will see the view becomes much clearer. My greatest accomplishments have always come after a storm. Gold is tested by fire. This Blog I created in October was meant to be an oasis for people that need somewhere to go to see empowerment. In comes in all forms. I'm just a struggle wrapped in strength. This year I literally had to go back to the beginning. I had to rediscover who I was. Outside of being a Mother I also am a woman. Intelligent, stylish, beautiful and captivating.  Sometimes we lose sight of that in our quest to be everything to everyone. I made the choice to take the chance to make a change(I read that somewhere lon

My kids are amazing. Last night one was eating a piece of Kit Kat and the other was eating a cheese doodle. Both had on a T-shirt and basketball shorts. They act just like each other. I see David in Jermaine. Jermaine is so strong. He is a little one but his strength is evident. He's very spoiled. I ADMIT THIS. My Daddy who helped me raise David had him in check. I used to be sad that Daddy only got to experience the first ten years of his life. Looking back retrospectively I know his heavenly guidance and intervention has saved David many times. It's so easy to get caught up in the trappings of lifestyles, circumstances and just plain old fashioned nonsense. I'm not the perfect Mother but I go hard for my kids. I try to do the best I can with the resources I have. It something both my parents did for us and their parents and well you get the picture. My Maternal Grandparents Ed Lee and Helen Jenkins with my Aunt Doris and Uncle Phillip Walker made the choice to leave m

I have been reflective lately. In order to move forward you have to take stock of where you have been. I am blessed to have some really special people in my life. 2017 has been a great year for me with new beginnings. I have met so many wonderful souls and bonded with or reconnected with bright lights who illuminate this dark world. Writing has always been for me an outlet. I sincerely hope Jermaine has inherited this trait from me. My baby is so smart. He is so technologically advanced and I try to incorporate many things in his daily routine. As a new mother again I find myself gravitating towards the things that of course two years ago were foreign to me. As a Single mother I am basically the only example daily other than his Big Brother David so I have to make the right choices at all times. It's a daunting task to say the least. My parents and grandparents were alive and healthy and VERY hands on as I climbed the corporate ladder. They helped me immensely and for that I am

Last year I was so depressed over the death of my Mother and the demise of almost everything that I had known for so long. The holidays meant a lot to my parents. As some may know they met on Thanksgiving night. My father was an excellent cook and he could put together ANYTHING that's why I can't make rice right or coleslaw or hang a picture correctly. He made his OWN rice-a-roni. Everything was ready before Noon because we was going to Nana and Pop Pop's house AFTER Papa, Granny and Auntie bought us jackpot number 2 because MY PARENTS got us EVERYTHING we could ever want EVERY year NO MATTER what. Granny and Papa bought the cool clothes. Granny got you the gingerbread house from the Pottery Barn her employer, Wanamaker's was her store and Bloomingdale's. Auntie Helen bought the gifts that you couldn't find like my Cabbage Patch twins. OMG THEY HAD A STROLLER. One year Mommy bought me a Barbie doll for every day of the MONTH. THEN Pop Pop gave you MONEY. Ten y

It's almost time to ring in the New Year. I am thankful for the love, laughter and joy in my life. I'm grateful for my trials for they showed me how resilient I truly am. I appreciate all the genuine people in my life. The family members that really love my kids and I. The friends both old and new that encourage, motivate and uplift me. This year I learned that God is The Redeemer. He will make a way. He makes no mistakes. He KNOWS what He is doing. I am forty years old now. I have an adult son and a toddler. I am blessed beyond measure. I'm focusing on my children and myself. I'm going to achieve ALL of my dreams regardless of who does or doesn't support me. I'm going to invest in Jermaine's future. I'm going to take care of MYSELF more. I get so stressed out over the behavior of others. I ALREADY raised one Prince. I wasn't perfect but I did the best I could. I ALWAYS have to be on point because people only care about themselves. I'm FINE wit

2017 is almost over. This year politically, emotionally and physically has been one for the books. In life one event can set in to motion many things. I am thankful for the journey but the experiences have led to catastrophic results on many levels. I do love the fact that minorities and women have taken stands and made strides for equality and acceptance.  Personally I have been on a quest for peace. The people I surround myself with have my best interests at heart. I am fearless in my pursuit of happiness. I'm stepping out of my comfort zone and trying new things. SHIT I went roller skating last week. My oldest son is almost twenty-one years old. He has NEVER seen me on skates in his entire life! The irony of it is when I was younger my Father and I used to skate everywhere. Life is about taking chances, enjoying yourself and forgiveness. The lot of others is their's to bear not yours. Let go of the bitterness, disdain and YES in some instances disgust. Being angry only

   The days are flying by. It's almost 2018. This year especially the last six months has been a catalyst in my life. I have set professional and personal goals and am trying the best I can to accomplish them. I'm also working on staying more present in the moment and enjoying life's wonderful yet chaotic way of keeping me fulfilled. I sleep more because I am exhausted at the end of each day. My kids mean everything to me. When Jermaine Jr. was born my Beautiful, Sweet Mother had just passed away. Most of the people that said they would always be there walked away. I was devastated and overwhelmed. I felt betrayed and abandoned. All the time, love and energy I put into others making them feel safe, wanted and taken care of. Looking back retrospectively I now know it was all apart of God's PLAN. Unlike others I choose not to use social media or the internet to throw stones, subs or whatever the youth of today are terming "SHADE". Some things are better l

The end of the year is upon us. The holidays are approaching and depending on what part of the world you are in winter has truly arrived. I have so much going on! This week I have an Awards Show to attend which I'm very excited about. I'm finally going to recite the piece I have worked so hard on at a Spoken Word event. My labor of love it has taken me back to "rapping" in the vestibule of Rachel Arms many moons ago. Then I have a Panel I was selected for. Interesting topic (FASHION). Monetary compensation just sweetens the proverbial pot. I would do it for FREE but the way my kids are set up.....  I'm trying to juggle everything. It's really hard trying to create an Empire as a single mother. Building a brand doesn't have a structured schedule. When David was little my parents and grandparents were just a phone call away. I try not to bite off more than I can chew. I try not to commit myself to things knowing I may not be able to go. It pays to net

I want to thank everyone who is taking my journey with me. It's been a long road. I am a work in progress yet I am so far from where I once was. I feel purposeful and complete. God and I define who I am. It's so freeing to walk by faith. I met a young couple yesterday afternoon in their early twenties. They have an eight month old beautiful baby boy. They were amazed at me for starting over again because David is grown. When Jermaine Jr. was born I was in a sad place. My Mother had died and unbeknownst to me at the time my life was going to be turned upside down yet I would become better for it. Gold is often tested by fire. While we were chatting I didn't relay any of this to them. They were complimenting J.J. on his attire and how he looks like a little Man(I get that a lot). I spent enough time dwelling on what was, and am now living in the moment while planning for the future. I advised them to cherish and savor the memories. Time will fly by. You will turn arou

Years ago my dear friend Cherylann gave me two great pieces of advice. She said "don't ever let someone take you out your character AND show the world how smart you are". She came to the United States from Trinidad with her little boy Randy long ago and through hard work, sacrifice, investing and living she has amassed a life rich in love, family and she lives her best life each day. I quote Cherylann (whom I affectionately  call C.A.) because she has an amazing work ethic, business acumen and above all values her family. She has been there for me many times, when it counted and when it mattered. I can tell her anything without fear of chastisement, rebuke or scorn. My late Mother always said "Cherylann-that's your REAL friend." The sad irony is that Ms. Veronica her own Mother passed away right before Mommy did. She was there for me as usual in full Big Sister mode, allowing me to vent and so excited about Jermaine Jr.  Our light in the dark, my Saving Grac

Sometimes I can write ten pages without even skipping a beat. Sometimes the memories become too vivid and I have to take a break. I just want to keep the promise I made to my Late Mother oh so long ago. In the fifth grade after I won the Citywide Writing contest. That I would write and publish a book. The IRONY is Senator Sanders (my political nemesis at one time) was just starting out on the District Council and inspired me so with how eloquently he spoke.  Nana told me years ago to tell "OUR story" because I was going to be famous and someone would write mine. As I age and raise another child in a world full of empty dreams and false ties I KNOW how important speaking LIFE and being there for your children is. I honed my oratory skills in auditoriums, libraries, cafeterias and schoolyards with MANY of my family members in attendance-I STILL can see Nana in the back with her uniform on. Nodding approvingly, giving me the cues to slow down, lift my head. She's the

I TALK TOO MUCH. I wear my heart on my sleeve. I am vocal about the things that I am passionate about. I'm truly working on trying to be a better me and to worry less. I am literally tuning out the noise. The values that were instilled in me, the upbringing I had it made me who I am today-flaws and all. I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. I do only wish I had of inherited more my Mother's personality. She NEVER lost her cool unless you were trying to play yourself. The stories I heard in the Post Office omg. That's why no matter WHAT I did to try to get fired LOL they wouldn't do it because my Mother was no joke.  I always knew that time we spent together was magical. Now that she's gone I feel it even more so. It also kept me in that Call Center all those years. She worked hard and didn't complain or brag about it either. It was just who she was and how she was raised. I miss her so much. When you blog, communicate publicly in any form it'

It's been a long week. I KNEW when I started writing that the words were going to flow from my mind and create not only a record of my strengths but the process was going to be therapeutic as well. It's NOTHING like doing what you feel good at to make you feel good. I'm not rushing ANYTHING. I am working on being more present in the moment. To enjoy things, times, experiences. I had to let go of what I cannot change in order to concentrate on what I can. I'm too talented, intelligent and beautiful to be bitter. People are just that-PEOPLE. Last weekend I enjoyed myself so much because I was acting like I didn't have a care in the world. I honestly don't-I'm good. Always have been even when I wasn't. That's the Jenkins in me. We are built like that. When you spend time with people who value their time and yours, it's enjoyable. When you make me feel good and valued-I will respond in such. The world is going to try to beat you down. Regardles

Life has a way of showing you what matters. When I was employed in Telecommunications we used to joke that we were the "readers" who always took over the task in school. I worked in sales from my teenage years. It started selling makeovers and Glamour shots in Green Acres Mall. The phone part was honed being a call taker at the cab stand with Baby Daddy #1. I excelled at new line installations in Queens because I knew all the addresses. The late Kevin Brown taught me so much about our hometown during those times. They REALLY were the GOOD old days. I also worked at an Online Betting Company. That was the greatest job! It was so easy-like selling a blind person a map-the clients loved me but it was inconvenient and I couldn't continue the commute. I HATED working in the Post Office. I tried to be grateful for the experience. I loved working with my Mother and PLAY Aunties. I know that it provided for me throughout my childhood and beyond yet it wasn't an ideal

Facebook has a feature that let's you see what you've posted on this day on Social Media. As I am daily reminded of my growth it also unfortunately shows me where I was in my life at a certain point in time as well. Statuses, posts and pictures paint a portrait that I threw in a spiritual fireplace a long time ago. I don't have the answers to all of life's questions. I don't want to try to figure things out ALL the time. I am having so much fun concentrating and focusing on me. I love my children. With everything in me. I am noticing they are happier because I'm GREAT.  My prioritizes are aligned with my goals. I used to OVERTHINK everything. I used to feel sorry for people that don't CARE. About me, themselves or the future. I had an epiphany a few weeks ago. Someone was explaining to me WHY someone else does the things they do to me(unsolicited) which in all honesty mirror the way they treat me as well.... I am a hearing impaired person. I don't

Some days are better than others. Circumstances, life experiences and just an ingrained way of living and thinking can hinder our growth. Milestones mark the need for change and often send us on a quest to do things different and experience new adventures. I can only speak for myself but I do well under pressure. I am a procrastinator-I tend to wait for the last, literal minute to complete tasks. I'm always putting things off. It's just me. My father was a very punctual person. His own funeral started on time. He detested that I always was running late. That has been something I have been working on for years and have gotten better at. In becoming a better you you must let go of what is weighing you down. You must accept apologies you're never going to receive. You must forgive people that aren't sorry. You must accept that people are just that PEOPLE and their lot in life is no concern to you. I am close with a few people who are going through so much right n

                                                              It didn't take long for the world to discover what her family, friends and basically EVERYONE that comes in contact with Cardi B has realized-this WOMAN is a force to be reckoned with. Raised in the Bronx a borough in New York that is a city within a city she has burst on the scene and found fame, fortune and countless fans. Through her television debut on "Love and Hip Hop: New York" she has showed us weekly that not only is she attractive, talented and driven but she also is hilarious, real and down-to-earth. I am a Native New Yorker. I have seen firsthand where your circumstances and decisions can lead you. It's so easy to become a statistic. The fact that she has exceeded expectations and broken records makes me proud. I have been rooting for Cardi B from jump. I just love how being featured on a scripted show she breathed fresh air into a stale medium. Reality Television is an oxymoron. Noth

The current climate in America is heartbreaking. Daily we are fed horrific and racially motivated vitriol. We are experiencing natural disasters fueled by Global Warming which are worsened by the mediocre responses based on geographic location and ethnicity. The Civil Rights Movement and the present day are mirror images and in over sixty years we have made minimal progress. I was raised in the 1980's and educated by the "old" New York City Board of Education. Omitting the few, yet traumatic encounters by educators who attempted to stifle my growth and weaken my spirit- I received a stellar education by teachers who saw my potential and cultivated it. As a late deafened adult who lost the majority of my hearing in my early twenties I used to wonder would I have still been included in gifted and talented programs as a Black little girl with a hearing impairment? Would I STILL have skipped a grade? Would I STILL have gone to operas, Broadway shows, taken tours of airpor

No matter what life throws at you be confident in the knowledge that He is working EVERYTHING out for your greater good. Even in the chaos, the despair and the unknown give it to Him. In my darkest hour I ALWAYS pray. I talk to God and ask him for his guidance(in my Yolanda Adams voice) Being reared in the church by an Evangelical Godmother my late Aunt Audrey I was reared by the affirmation that prayer changes things. And it does. I needed Him to turn my life around. And He did on His time. I am a work in progress but I am claiming what I need and want in this life. My older cousin Shawana and I were talking recently. She is more like my Aunt in our family and she's extremely successful because's she's always evolving. Knowledge is the key and she's continuously reinventing herself and has ALWAYS been an innovative person. She listens to my dreams and desires without the "be happy for what you have now" spiel that I detest from some. It's

As I begin my day I try to take the time to count my blessings. I am alive, healthy and have two wonderful and amazing sons who make life worth living. I am also in a great place. It was a long road for me to get where I am today. I am a work in progress but I am so thankful for the journey. I was stagnant for a long time. Content with a life that wasn't apart of God's plan for me any longer. I resisted change. I was comfortable yet I wasn't growing.  I am a very outgoing person. People gravitate to me when I let my light shine. In the immortal words of John Lennon "Some say that I'm a dreamer" All of my life I have had lofty goals, aspirations and desires. I have achieved so many. I'm truly proud of myself. My role as a Mother is my highest achievement. Nothing can or will ever surpass that. I however am on a trajectory to reach my full potential. If not now when? So like with everything I do-I'm going hard. I don't want to wake up one day and